Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Whodunnit? Hacker...or Hack?

Oh, I wish I were a congressman named Weiner,
That is what I'd truly like to be,
'Cause if I were a congressman named Weiner,
All the chicks would be in love with me

(Apologies to Oscar Mayer for mangling their famous jingle)

If you've somehow managed to miss the controversy surrounding Rep. Anthony Weiner and his purportedly hacked Twitter account, check with Ace of Spades (just start scrolling) and Stacy McCain.

BTW, Weiner just sent me a direct message with a link to this video.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Where the rubber leaves the road

Oh, no! David Brooks is getting ready to inflict another of his pop-psychology books on us.

From the above article, I learned several interesting things - perhaps the most fascinating being that, when he was a child, Brooks owned two turtles, one named Disraeli and the other named Gladstone. I think this fact goes a long way toward explaining Brooks' perpetual swinging-pendulum, split-the-difference political posturing. And there's this:
Brooks says that, overwhelmingly, human decision-making is not rational but unconscious.
Like Brooks' decision to write another book, for example.

Monday movie

Bob Mitchum, in a scene from Out of the Past, figures out he’s being set up as the fall guy.

Lest we forget...


Carol at No Sheeples Here brings a good cause to our attention: Troopathon IV.

Legal Insurrection has a bumper sticker to mark this important day.

Little Miss Attila provides a condensed version of Thomas Sowell's new book.

Best Memorial Day lawn poster (H/T: Instapundit).

Sunday, May 29, 2011

New from Paco Enterprises!

We are pleased to announce the roll-out of our latest product, the Godwin-meter.

With this handy software, you can feed text, video or audio recordings into our highly sophisticated, state-of-the-art Nazi-analogy analyzer to determine the degree of pure irrationality represented by examples of Godwin’s Law.

Here’s how it works. Andrew Sullivan recently attempted to compare Sarah Palin’s new documentary with Triumph of the Will. We simply cut and paste the relevant text into a Word document, submit it for analysis to the Godwin-meter, and wait for the scaled audio response.

And here it is!

Whoa, pretty over-the-top, there, Andy! But we always knew you’d set the benchmark for outrageousness, so the Godwin-meter is set up to measure Nazi-analogy excess in milli-Andies, the maximum reading being one Andy.

Available online and in finer computer stores nationwide.

Why Michael Bloomberg's political career needs to be contained in New York City

If not ended altogether.
Your job is not to ask the public where they want to go and get behind them. Your job is to tell the public and convince the public where they should go, and lead from the front.

Ah, spring!

Spring has well and truly set in here at the Paco Command Center. The pear tree is full of fruit, the snapdragons reseeded and have blanketed one side of the driveway in a blaze of bright colors, and the roses are producing jumbo blooms.

I'm delighted that my dogwoods are doing so well. These things were just a foot high when I planted them four years ago.

These tulips gave me a powerful longing for a cold bottle of Orange Crush.

And here's a nice shot ahead of Memorial Day.

There's even a serpent here in paradise; however, it looks like a harmless black snake (maybe not so harmless to the chipmunks, though).

Hope you all are having a great weekend!

Sunday funny

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Chicago lawyer accuses opponent of, er, funbaggery

I bet they don’t teach this stuff at Harvard:
A Chicago lawyer says his opponent in a small claims case is using an unfair tactic by sitting a buxom woman next to him at counsel's table.

Attorney Thomas Gooch says the woman's sole purpose "is to draw the attention of the jury away from the relevant proceedings" — a dispute over a used car. He asks Cook County Circuit Judge Anita Rivkin-Carothers to order the woman to sit in the gallery with other spectators.
H/T: Overlawyered

Update: Indefatigable cyber detective, Captain Heinrichs, has an important update.

Tim Geithner: “Let me make this as clear as mud”

Graduate of Dartmouth and John Hopkins University’s School of Advanced International Studies. Former president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. Currently, Secretary of the Treasury. Knowledgeable in the Mandarin and Japanese languages.

And yet, strangely incoherent in his native English…


I have often marveled at Obama’s effortless ascension to the White House. As usual, Mark Steyn puts it best (from the transcript of a conversation with Hugh Hewitt on the latter’s radio program):
I think if you look at Obama, he was wafted upwards, basically, through Columbia, Harvard Law, the Harvard Law Journal, community organizing, the Illinois legislature, the United States Senate, without ever lingering in those jobs long enough to have to do anything. He basically was someone who was kind of just wafted upwards through the system until he became the beneficiary of the ultimate waft, into the Oval Office. And for the first time, for the first time in his life, the words he says, and the actions he takes have consequences. For the first time ever. This is a guy who is, you know, as far as I know, has never had a paper round. This is the first time what he does has consequences…I mean, what I find fascinating, thinking about this 1967 border stuff, is whether he intended it as a conscious shift in U.S. policy that would alarm the Israeli government, or whether with the casual arrogance of his half-wit 12 year old speechwriters, it just somehow got in there, and he finds himself standing up there saying it.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Talking Nazi dogs

One of Hitler's stranger ideas was the notion of training dogs to talk.

Contrary to the scoffing tone of the article linked above, the Nazis did, in fact, have one spectacular success. Paco World News Daily (PWN’D) dug deeper into the German scientific archives and found proof that one dog did learn to talk; however, the program was cancelled abruptly one weekend when Hitler took the dog to his estate near Berchtesgaden to meet his mistress, Eva Braun.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Happy Feet Friday

Lester Young and the boys (with an assist from Ella Fitzgerald) swing out on "Blues for Greasy".

Bin Laden’s former main squeeze now feuding with rapper

An ex-lover of Osama bin Ladin’s – bearing the improbable, but somehow strangely appropriate, name of Kola Boof – is carrying on a bizarre war of words with a hip-hop yowler who goes by the handle of Wale.

To me, the most interesting thing in the linked piece is this citation from a magazine article that included quotes from a memoir Boof published back in 2006:
"I can't deny what a good-looking man he was," she wrote of bin Laden in Harper's. "Over six feet with a zesty salmon-orange complexion and very sexy Negro-like facial features, forged by generations of desert sun. I remember thinking he had the most beautiful lips and being overwhelmed by the largeness of his hand when he took mine (to kiss it). Osama's men laughed, and Osama's eyes kept falling on my cleavage."
No doubt he was torn between his awareness of the Koranic declaration that “modesty and chastity are parts of the faith”, and the jihard-on he got while ogling her indisputably fine hooters.

Source book

The Oval Office. Vice President Joseph Biden and Senior Presidential Adviser David Plouffe enter quietly. President Obama, on the telephone, waves them over to the couch.

Obama [speaking into the telephone]: “No, your majesty, I really didn’t know that I wasn’t supposed to toast you while the band was playing ‘God Save the Queen’. No, I assure you I wasn’t ‘having my little joke’. If you have listened to my speeches, which are on the IPod I gave you a couple of years ago, you know that I’m all about respect and cultural understanding. What? Yes, I did leave a couple of dollars under my dinner plate at the banquet. It was a tip. I…Hello? Hello? Damn! We, er, seem to have been cut off. David, this trip was a disaster! And this thing sure didn't help [pulls small red book from side jacket pocket and slams it on his desk. Plouffe reaches over and picks it up].

Plouffe: What have you got here? Protocol for American Citizens Overseas. Mr. President, may I ask where you got this?

Biden: Hey, I gave that to him. Came in the mail to me last week, from some well-wisher, I suppose; thought the President could find more use for it than I could, since I never get to go anyplace.

Obama: We’ve been all through that, Joe. We need you here to…to…to hold down the fort. Yes, that’s it. To hold down the fort. Besides, the last time you were in Europe you almost created an international incident with that joke you told at the conference.

Biden: How was I to know that nobody over there has a sense of humor? Let me run that story by Dave, here, and see if he thinks it’s offensive. Now, a polack, a frog and a kraut walk into a Jewish restaurant looking for some Belgian waffles…

Plouffe: Er, I’m sure I’ve probably heard that one, Joe. Mr. President, getting back to this book… Just thumbing through it, I’m seeing quite a few dubious suggestions.

Obama: For instance?

Plouffe: Well, for example: “When being introduced to members of the British royal family, one should be quick to comment on the beauty of their teeth.”

Obama: What’s wrong with that?

Plouffe: The subject of bad teeth has become something of a byword in England, Mr. President. And then there’s this one: “On being introduced to senior managers of the National Health Service, it is considered good form to inquire about the organization’s progress in combating spotted dick.”

Obama: Say, I wasn’t going to touch that one, but Michelle blurted it out.

Plouffe: Sir, spotted dick is a kind of pudding.

Obama: Ohhhh…So, when that doctor asked Michelle if she was inquiring for herself or for her husband…

Plouffe: He was being a wise guy, yes, sir.

Obama: Dammit! It looks like I came across as a total rube over there. Oh, crap! Tell me, quickly; what is the Gaelic for “prime minister”?

Plouffe: “Taoiseach”, sir.

Obama: Not…er… “bog trotter”?

Plouffe: Mr. President, you didn’t

Obama: *Sigh*...I guess I’d better send Enda Kenny a bottle of whiskey or a sack of potatoes or something to square things. And throw that book away, David; it’s obviously out of date. You know, maybe I will let Joe, here, take on some of the foreign travel responsibilities. Everybody expects this kind of thing from him. When I make the, um, very rare gaffe, it comes across as too much of a shock to people. I mean, I'm a virtual messiah - Don't roll your eyes, David, lots of people have said so! - and it’s like a big crowd gathers round to watch me raise...What's the guy's name? Lester?

Plouffe: Lazarus, Mr. President.

Obama: Yeah, Lazarus. It’s like everybody's hanging around waiting for me to raise Lazarus from the grave and I wind up turning him into a dead frog, instead.

Biden [coming out of a reverie]: Huh? Frog? Oh, right. So, a polack, a frog and a kraut walk into a Jewish restaurant looking for some Belgian waffles…

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

New French sex scandal!

President Sarkozy of France and Carla Bruni are having a baby - and they're actually married! To each other!

I thought this sort of thing only happened in cartoons

Kiwi truck driver, accidentally punctured by compressed air hose, blows up like a balloon.

Fortunately, we Second Amendment types aren’t limited to radar

We’ve got an alternative media that keeps an eye on surreptitious attempts to undermine the Constitution.

Pithy observation

Jeff G. is on fire, as usual.
A naked emperor in an armored paper weight. Christ, when will this nightmare end?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Barry O’bama visits the ould sod

Obama’s personal tank got stuck on a ramp in Dublin, yesterday. Tim Blair’s commenters mine the comedy gold.

Interesting to see the president playing up his Irish roots. I am reminded of a classic scene from The Quiet Man, where Sean Thornton (John Wayne), upon returning to Ireland from America to settle down permanently, meets Father Lonergan (Ward Bond). The parish priest casts a steely glare on Thorton, and says somberly, in his slightly raspy baritone, “Ah, yes... I knew your people, Sean. Your grandfather; he died in Australia, in a penal colony. And your father, he was a good man too.”

And while Barry cruises around Ireland in his mobile bunker, a genuine leader addresses Congress.

Update: For cryin' out loud! You just can't take the guy anywhere.

Honing the edge on the message

Jesse Lee, one of Obama’s proliferating propagosslings, has been moved up the communications food chain to chief sniper. He’ll also be in charge of reaching out to “progressives”.
"For the last two years, Jesse has often worn two hats working in new media and serving as the White House's liaison with the progressive media and online community. Starting this week, Jesse will take on the second role full time working on outreach, strategy and response."
Two hats, both “ass”.

Exorcising the ghost of Gerald Ford

Jeffrey Lord has an excellent piece in The American Spectator which traces the historical fault lines between Republican moderates and their conservative opponents. A sample:
Over and over and over the two men sparred from one end of America to the other in 1976. Ford was the adamant "moderate" -- proud that he had picked the statist New York ex-Governor Nelson Rockefeller as his vice president, ashamed of himself for dumping Rocky in a bid to stave off Reagan. Ford was about "trimming" government with a spending cut here and there when he wasn't busy negotiating with the Soviets. To Reagan the federal government was the Leviathan incarnate, an increasingly out-of-control Frankenstein which, if not sharply downsized, would bring the American Experiment crashing down around its citizens heads. And the Soviet Union should disappear. Or, as he also later said, "we win, they lose."

Maybe Marx was right

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce.

Monday, May 23, 2011

If you're ever driving through Tennessee...

... better wire your money ahead.

Brown nosing

I'm with Professor Jacobson ( "Bye-Bye Brown").
A "no" vote wasn't good enough, you had to do it in a way so as to damage fellow Republicans by playing into the false Democratic narrative. You are a hero for your op-ed, but not to the people who supported you.
Yes, yes, it was good to see even a nominal Republican win in Massachusetts, and it was especially schadenfreude-tastic to see Brown capture the senate seat once held down by Ted Kennedy's ample bottom. And he did cast a vote in a losing effort against Obama Care. But in attacking Paul Ryan's entitlements reform plan, while offering no alternative of his own - save for the most transparent of all Washington scams: eliminating "waste, fraud and abuse" - Brown has firmly established himself as part of the problem, an unthinking enabler of the coming collapse. If there ever is a straight up-and-down vote on repealing Obama Care in some future Republican-dominated senate, I wouldn't be surprised to see Brown reverse his previous stance and support the damned thing.

Brown may be the best Republicans can do in Massachusetts, but we shouldn't fool ourselves: his usefulness in the kind of gigantic effort that it will take to turn the country from its headlong rush to disaster is almost nil.

An election message from Stacy McCain

And the importance of this observation cannot be overemphasized:
It is always a mistake to think of independent voters as moderates or “centrists.” It is more helpful to think of them as “low-information voters” who don’t pay much attention to politics, and whose judgments are influenced more by superficial impressions of candidates than by deeply held political beliefs.
That’s right. Our future might just wind up being determined by lazy, stupid people. So, two things become absolutely essential: (1) never miss a chance to educate a low-information voter, and (2) the rest of us need to turn out in large numbers to counteract the impact of the permanently uneducable.

Down with the moronocracy!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Homeowner takes on yob

This has been around for a while, but it's always good to remind ourselves that the defense of civilization really begins in one's own front yard.

Some people are just born with talent

The littlest Smitty brings us the "Claustrophobic Blues".

Friday, May 20, 2011


Capitalism: not just (or even primarily) for capitalists.

Inexperienced left-wing lawyer’s climb up the judicial ladder appears to have been thwarted.

Stupid liberal tricks.

And stupid liberal pricks.

Fishersville Mike: official hit man of the Paco presidential campaign.

Hey, the feds can’t make a dent in illegal immigration, but at least they got Bobby Unser.

Kids don’t lie. Right?

Apparently, everybody’s a moron.

This is supposed to be a joke, but I’m afraid the preshizzle will think it’s a great idea.

Obama is clearly uncomfortable with Zionism. Maybe he needs to look at it in a new light (H/T: Seraphic Secret).

Paolo Sorrentino drops bomb on Cannes

And Sean Penn rides it all the way down.

"Godawful mess".

Sean Penn: synonymous with disaster.

Was Shakespeare the most influential man in history?

Arguable, of course, but there’s no denying his reach and impact.
Shakespeare's power is evident everywhere if you know where to look. He shows up in obvious places -he remains the dominant influence on Hollywood and Bollywood -but he also shows up in places you might never expect. The reason there are starlings in North America? Shakespeare. On March 6, 1890, a New York pharmaceutical manufacturer named Eugene Schiefflin released 60 starlings into Central Park, following his plan to introduce every species of bird mentioned in Shakespeare into the New World. Those 60 birds swelled to over 200 million birds today, and they have wrought havoc on our public buildings as well as on our agriculture.

"Odds bodkins, dude, you're not gonna blame me for your bird s**t, are you?"

Netanyahu to Obama: What, are you nuts?

Or words to that effect.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Pass the salt

Here's some advice from the Centers for Disease Control on what to do during the zombie apocalypse.

Or, you can just watch how Carl Kolchak handles this kind of situation.

Happy Feet Friday

Time for some boogie with Lynn Albritton.

Republicans search for the Higgs-Boson of electoral success in 2012

I was reading this interview with nuclear scientist Rolf-Dieter Heuer at The European web site, and, while it is interesting in its own right – among other things, Heuer’s reflections on the intersection of science and faith are more thoughtful than Stephen Hawking’s recent flippant vaporings – what excited me was finding a neat metaphor to describe the Republicans’ search for the optimal candidate in a crowded and diverse field of contenders. First, here’s Heuer:
In the area of particle physics, we need many years to run our experiments and analyze the data. In the past fifty years, we have developed the Standard Model of particle physics. It describes the microcosm as we know it: the matter particles and the forces between them. But we are still missing one cornerstone to explain how elementary particles get their mass. We think that the Higgs mechanism could provide the answer to that question. The manifestation of that mechanism is something called the Higgs Boson – a particle that is thought to exist but hasn’t been found in experiments yet. Our goal is to find the Higgs Boson. If we succeed, then we will conclude the theory of the Standard Model [emphasis mine].
Republicans have most components of their “model” in place: opposition to irresponsible government spending and the unchecked growth of government power, an acknowledgment of the need to reform entitlements, the necessity of restoring the idea of American exceptionalism, reverence for the constitution and individual freedom. The missing piece – the Higgs-Boson – is the standard-bearer – or rather, the optimal standard bearer, since there will be one in any event (optimal or not).

So, who do you think our Higgs-Boson is? Or is there one at all?

The Republican farm system

Who are some of the up and coming Republicans who are either just now breaking into the “major leagues”, or are likely to do so down the road? Marco Rubio’s name comes instantly to mind, as do the names of Virginia governor Robert McDonnell and Virginia attorney general Ken Cuccinelli.

One man whom I am just hearing about for the first time is Ted Cruz, the former solicitor general of Texas. Jay Nordlinger posted this piece at NRO back in January of this year which provides the relevant biographical background. Cruz is one of three Republicans who will be trying to replace the retiring Kay Baily Hutchinson, and seems to be a fellow to watch.

Thief takes a tumble

Hot Air’s outstanding “local news story of the day”.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Of Nazi zombies and Islamic militants

Robert Avrech, as he so often and brilliantly does, provides a movie review and ties it in with real-world events.

The movie, of which I hadn’t heard, is a horror flick called Dead Snow, featuring Nazi zombies that terrorize a group of medical students vacationing in a remote Norwegian cabin. Avrech goes on to demonstrate that the “zombie” menace is real.
Meanwhile, at the very same time as Seraphic Secret was screening Dead Snow, zombies were invading Israel.

You see, the reason the zombie genre caught on so quickly and will be with us, well, forever, is because audiences recognize dramatic truth when they see it.

Zombies have always walked the earth.

Once upon a time there were Nazi zombies, Japanese zombies, Communist zombies.

Today, they are Islamic zombies and the progressive zombies who enable their insatiable blood lust.

They do not think, they do not reason, they have no pity, no empathy, they are utterly impervious to the basic rules of civilization.

And like all zombies, they thirst for blood.
Read the whole thing.

The megaphone of stupid

If Chris Matthews starts right now, and works really hard, putting in eight or ten hours a day of rigorous reading and study in multiple disciplines, he might, in five or six years’ time, manage to ascend to the level of a moron.

From which vantage point he still would not be competent to opine on his betters.

Excuse me…

…while I ransack every last barn in Virginia.

H/T: Mrs. Paco

Important anniversary

Mark Hyman at the American Spectator reminds us that this month marks the fifth anniversary of the release (I almost typed “escape”) of Al Gore’s crockumentary, An Inconvenient Truth. The essay is a nice recap of the Gorean hysteria, and underscores how Big Al managed to turn junk science into an international pants-wetting mania that, coincidentally, secured him a seat in the first-class compartment of the gravy train.
Not content with his role as Chicken Little, Gore went on to co-found a "carbon credit" company that has made him millions. He even used the carbon credit service for himself. He deems his extravagant, high-energy use home as being "carbon neutral" because he purchases "carbon offsets." From himself.
In the past, I have referred to Al Gore as the Aimee Semple McPherson of the Cli-Fi crowd. I’m beginning to wonder if he isn’t more like the movement’s Bernie Madoff.

Update: Prospective Republican presidential candidacies seem to be popping like balloons at a porcupine’s birthday party. Huckabee and Trump are gone, Newt may well have self-destructed with his attack on Paul Ryan’s entitlements plan, and now Jon Huntsman takes a walk on the ledge by unmasking himself as a climate-change believer.
All I know is 90 percent of the scientists say climate change is occurring. If 90 percent of the oncological community said something was causing cancer we’d listen to them.
Well, Jon, let me ask you something. What if the dean and chief mouthpiece of the “oncological community” was a man who majored in government as an undergraduate, did poorly in science and math classes, later dropped out of divinity school and obtained a law degree, and went on to enjoy a modestly successful political career, only to flame out in a burst of extreme weirdness in a losing presidential campaign against a guy who would one day wind up being caricatured by vicious cartoonists as a chimp? Furthermore, what if he had once been in the pay of the tobacco lobby? Would these facts not tend to undermine your blind faith in the credibility of a medical establishment of which he was the leading light? Or – and I am still using the oncological analogy – would you unquestioningly agree to a colonoscopy performed with an Apache double-jacket fire hose and a Sunbeam minicam because the "science is settled"?

"Let's see...home massages...home massages..."

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Is it just me, or does it seem to be getting kinda socialistic around here ?

Nobody does Grade-A snark like Jeff G.
So shut up and deal with what are essentially garden variety Democrats (who love this country just as much as you do and want to see it succeed in ways different than you, which, I shouldn’t have to note, doesn’t make them bad people, or suggest any kind of, say, transformative intent on their part), you barbarian, extremist, word rapers. And for Chrissakes, stop bitching about Obama’s appointments of left-wing radicals to governmental entities like the NLRB, or for sure we’ll lose the moderates and independents this next election cycle.


What a buzz-kill Jimmy Bise is! Here I was, buying into the idea that the world was going to end this weekend - and actually looking forward to it, primarily in order to avoid having to do employee performance evaluations – and now Jimmy comes along and shows that the whole thing is a bunch of hooey.

Well, better roll up my sleeves and start knocking these evaluations out…

“Mr. Toadvine has made great progress with his anger-management issues, and has almost completely broken the habit of growling during board meetings. The Senior Vice President of Marketing professes himself to be entirely satisfied with his reconstructive jaw surgery, and, by all accounts, Mr. Toadvine has been very cooperative in the ongoing police investigation into the disappearance of his fourth wife.”

[God, how I hate having to do these things!]

Andrew Sullivan: not just wrong, but evil

John Nolte delivers a well-earned smack-down to the execrable Andrew Sullivan, and to other equally repugnant killer bees in the leftist media hive, for their attacks on Sarah Palin and her family (big H/T to Tim Blair and Currency Lad).

The linked article includes a photo of Sullivan - and, yes, I know one shouldn’t judge people by their appearance, but I have an inborn distrust of any man whose head looks like a late-season cantaloupe afflicted with soft rot.

Timmy Tax-Cheat trying to scare the public with the default boogie man

James Pethokoukis scoffs at the Treasury Secretary’s assertion that failing to raise the debt ceiling would “force” the United States into default on its obligations.

There is plenty of revenue available to cover interest payments over the short-term, if the government cuts back in other areas. So, be advised: if the debt ceiling isn’t raised, and the U.S. defaults, this represents a conscious and explicit choice by the Obama administration.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Tyranny always starts with the French fries

I'm just surprised to find this happening in Texas.

Socialist sex

As is the case with practically everything else in the leftist asylum, it’s all about compulsion, as IMF-chief Dominique Strausse-Kahn demonstrated in his pursuit of, and assault upon, a chamber maid in a New York hotel.

Paco World News Daily has obtained the video of an earlier, but unsuccessful, sexual assault by Strauss-Kahn which took place in France decades ago.

The winnowing continues

Over the past week, Huckabee dropped out of the Republican presidential race, Romney may have permanently crippled himself with a stubborn partial defense of the Massachusetts health care plan he implemented, and Gingrich got the brilliant idea of attacking Paul Ryan from the left (Ryan, to the consternation of those who hope he will enter the presidential fray, is now eyeing the senate seat being vacated by Democrat Herb Kohl). Meanwhile, Trump, bereft of his signature issue (Obama’s birth certificate) folded in the polls like a broken lawn chair (update: he has also pulled out of the race), and Ron Paul had only to announce his intentions in order to be assured of defeat. The nation waits with bated breath to find out if Mitch Daniels’ wife is willing to give him permission to run, and if so, to learn of an approximate date on which he will consider himself sufficiently bucked up to debate Obama on foreign policy. John Huntsman continues to be chided at family gatherings, by those relatives who actually recognize him, for his fan letters to Obama and Clinton.

Biggest beneficiaries? Probably Herman Cain (at least in the short-term), and maybe Tim Pawlenty. Not sure what Sarah Palin’s up to, but I wouldn’t count her out.

Prediction? The Republican convention, deadlocked after 15 rounds, nominates me, and I go on to become, for the enemies of individual liberty, Ivan the Fedorable, breaking the power of the federal bureaucracy and its co-conspirators in Congress, and ushering in an era of unbridled economic liberty, featuring, among other things, cheap gasoline and even cheaper cigarettes. A golden age, my friends.

Sunday, May 15, 2011


Robert Avrech at Seraphic Secret ran a challenge last week that I somehow managed to miss. He posted pictures of three movie stars in their youth, and readers were asked to identify them. Here’s the original contest, and here are the answers. The second one completely floored me (let this be a lesson to you young fellows in elementary school; be nice to the goofy-looking girl in glasses, ‘cause you just never know…)

The Indiana Supreme Court tries to improve on the Magna Carta (this is a dangerous and, indeed, an idiotic ruling).

Meanwhile, a statue looks as if it’s about to practice some self-defense (H/T: Gavin Atkins; be sure to check out his excellent roundup).

Bob Belvedere – the master of vintage cheesecake - provides another historically-valuable photo essay.

Over at Coalition of the Swilling, Tree Hugging sister has actual video footage of Bin Laden channel surfing.

The all-seeing Eye of Polyphemus posts the results from an unusual poll.

No Sheeples Here offers what, for me, is a very easy choice.

At last! The quadrate pebblesnail has found its literary champion.

Monday Movie

Ava Gardner provides an eyeful in The Hucksters.

Bonus clip from the same movie! Is it Sydney Greenstreet or J. Packington Paco III?

Friday, May 13, 2011

Happy Feet Friday (Saturday edition!)

Fred and Ginger are, indeed, Too Hot to Handle!

Bureaucrats from around the world

An interesting photographic survey. Note what practically all of these helpful government types have in common.

Interestingly, there are no pictures of a U.S. federal government bureaucrat, so I’ve decided to correct the deficiency, myself.

Hmm. Must have gone outside for a smoke. Let’s poke around his office and see what it’s like.

Perhaps he likes to keep in mind that Brazil doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the U.S. (you know, just in case).

Map’s a little out of date. Isn’t that the Austro-Hungarian Empire?

Some interesting books; although they don’t all seem to be work-related...

What have we got here, emergency supplies? A bottle of Maker’s Mark and a box of…Happy Balls??? Let’s take a closer look. Hmmmm… “Guaranteed Genuine Handmade Kentucky Bourbon Candy”…

I wonder what some of those foreign bureaucrats would think of all this?

"%&!#@ gringo!

Technical difficulties

Blogger went down yesterday and just got restored today (the comments for the last couple of posts, however, seem to have been lost forever).

Ladies and gentlemen, the bar is now open.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Trump explains his hair

Sure, buddy. I still say it's lycanthropy.

Hair Update: An Australian football player is ejected from match due to "dangerous hair".

Our Comedian-in-Chief

Chandra Levy was murdered in 2001 by illegal alien Ingmar Guandique. Illegal alien Pedro Espinoza has been charged with murdering high-school athlete Jamiel Shaw Jr. in 2008 in Los Angeles. A Catholic nun was killed in a hit-and-run accident by an intoxicated illegal alien in Virginia last year. There are approximately 240,000 illegal alien sex-offenders in the U.S. And on and on.

We seem to have a pretty big problem with leaky borders. But I’m glad our president – Barack “Old Blood and Guts” Obama – can laugh the whole thing off. Yesterday, he snarked that Republicans want a moat filled with alligators.

Thanks, but I’ll settle for a government drained of assholes.

Update: "A moat with alligators? Sounds fine to me", says Rep Joe Walsh.

Pilin' on Palin

I find some of the attacks on Sarah Palin coming from the right to be odd in the extreme, and am baffled as to why so many seem to be coming from writers like John Podhoretz whose articles I've generally admired. Josh at Texans for Sarah Palin has an extensive roundup of responses from the non-Palin-hating right.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Obama’s energy policy leading to implementation of third world farming techniques

In… Wisconsin.

From the shelves of someone else’s library

During the 1970s and 1980s, I devoured books pertaining to totalitarianism, with respect to both its theoretical underpinnings and practical effects. I read, with a mixture of horror and outrage, The Gulag Archipelago, The Diary of Anne Frank and Kolyma: The Arctic Death Camps, just to name a few non-fiction works that made the deepest impression. In literature, Orwell, Koestler, Grossman and Kuznetsov elevated the heart-breaking reality to the level of art. Yet in all that time, I have somehow managed to overlook what seems to be a classic: Under a Cruel Star: A Life in Prague 1941-1968, by Heda Margolius Kovály. Michael McDonald has written an excellent review. A very brief sample:
In the late 1940s and early 1950s, Communist parties in Eastern Europe, at Stalin’s direction, began a series of purges. Although he was an economist and, as such, not involved in Party politics, the Czechoslovak secret police arrested [Rudolf Margolius, Heda’s husband] on January 10, 1952. The next time Heda saw him was nearly one year later on the eve of his execution. Rudolf was one of 14 government officials, 11 of them Jewish, who were convicted, after repeated torture, of “anti-state conspiracy” as part of the notorious Slánsky show trials. The Communist state had Rudolf hanged and his body cremated. As the secret police were transferring his ashes, the car they were in began to swerve on an icy road. They threw his ashes under the car’s wheels for traction.
Read the whole thing.

Monday, May 9, 2011

A titan of industry is importuned

A gray squirrel scurried up a tree trunk, and a blue jay took wing, as the tromping of heavy human footsteps was heard in the brush. Emerging from a tangle of vines and secondary growth into a clearing by the side of a creek, a tall and still powerfully-built septuagenarian whacked a machete against his boots to shake loose the leaves and splinters that had adhered to the blade. He carefully held back the branch of a small tree to permit an even larger septuagenarian to pass before him. The two men were dressed in khaki cargo pants and safari shirts, their bald heads protected from the sun by old-fashioned topees. The larger man took a swig of water from a canteen, cast an eye around the glade and suddenly pointed a sturdy, silver-knobbed briar walking stick in the direction of a small plant growing near the base of a pine tree.

“There, Spurgeon! Success, at last! Have you ever seen a finer specimen of Dionaea muscipula in your life?”

“No, sir, I have not. And were it not for the rigid requirements imposed upon my conduct by the code of the gentleman’s personal gentleman, I confess that, in other circumstances, I might well have been tempted to say ‘Cor!’”.

“’Cor’ indeed, Spurgeon! In fact, it would not be going too far to say ‘cor blimey’ or even ‘cor love a duck.’ Give me the spade, my dear fellow, and I shall uproot this gem of the plant kingdom.”

Spurgeon reached into his knapsack to remove the desired implement, but froze as he was about to hand it over to his employer.

“A moment, sir. Do you hear that noise?”

The larger man – who, not heretofore having been properly introduced, we will now identify as that world-famous tycoon, J. Packington Paco III – furrowed his brow as he listened intently. There was a gentle, rhythmic plashing of water, followed by the sound of multiple vicious slaps and an angry outburst of profane language. Suddenly, an aluminum canoe hove into view, its single occupant brandishing a large, economy-size tube of Benadryl anti-itch cream. His eyes lit upon our two explorers.

“Well, Uncle J.P! What a coincidence, finding you here in the middle of the Green Swamp! Talk about your serendipity or kismet!”

J.P. cast a baleful eye upon Spurgeon, which he then shifted back to his nephew, known familiarly, if not quite affectionately, simply by his surname, Paco.

“Somehow, Paco, I find it difficult to believe that a whimsical fate has thrown us together in these swampy environs.”

Banking his canoe, Paco slipped over the bow, the muck by the creek-side seeping over the tops of his shoes. With a loud *shloop*, he extracted his feet from the mud and padded over to his uncle, assiduously applying the anti-itch cream to his face and arms.

“Damned mosquitoes! I don’t know how you stand them. What were you saying? Ah, yes. Fate. Truth to tell, fate received a helping hand from your appointments secretary, who mentioned that you were heading down to Wilmington – and that could only mean one thing: that you were looking to beef up your stable of carnivorous plants. And, whaddaya know, isn’t that a Venus Flytrap Spurgeon is hovering over, spade in hand?”

J.P. released one of his booming laughs. “Mwa-ha! You are quite the scamp, young Paco, no doubt about it. And what, prithee, has moved you to set off down this malarial stream in a leaky canoe to find your loving old uncle?” (Aside to Spurgeon: “As if I didn’t know!”)

“Well, that is rather the nub, isn’t it – whatever a nub may be. You see, Uncle J.P., as you no doubt know from reading the newspapers, I have announced my candidacy for president.”

J.P.’s eyebrows arched, like two furry rainbows. “That datum has somehow managed to elude my normally voracious reading. Er, exactly which newspapers carried this startling, not to say, ominous, announcement?”

“Oh, all of the major news outlets back home. The Fairfax Times, the Prince William County Intelligencer, the message board in the Safeway at the corner of Lee Highway and Nutley Street. I’m astounded that the prospect of a Paco presidency hasn’t yet made a ripple in the world of finance and commerce.”

“There was a spike in the retail price of chili-flavored Hamburger Helper.”

“Great stuff! Wait until my first state dinner, when the King of France tucks into a plate full of that! He’ll never go back to snails.”

“I believe France has a president.”

“Hey, he can come, too. Anyway, the Republican field is weak, and I’m poised to be a successful dark horse.”

“Don’t you think you’re underrating the competition?”

“Not at all. I figure weekly trips to one of the better tonsorial establishments will give me an edge over Romney in the ‘important hair’ department, and I can out-drawl Mike Huckabee. Tim Pawlenty comes across as kind of a human tranquilizer, which will never happen with me, since I plan to do conjuring tricks during debates, and I have a photo – I’ve been assured it’s genuine – of Sarah Palin shooting grizzly bears with a .50 caliber machine gun mounted on the back of a Dodge Ram truck. That ought to draw the crunchy-con vote.”

“What about Mitch Daniels?”


“Hmm. M’yes, I see your point.”

“But, Uncle J.P., you know as well as I do what it is that makes the political world go round.”

“Fidelity to the principles of the founding fathers?”

“Well, er, yes. That, plus a mountain of jack. And since you’re so well endowed with the green stuff, I had hoped you might rally round with the ol’ checkbook.”

Spurgeon began absent-mindedly thumbing the edge of his machete blade.

“You know,” Paco said brightly. “That is a very robust specimen of Venus Flytrap. It would look so much at home among your pitcher plants and bladderworts. How unfortunate that it is illegal to remove them from their natural habitat. I understand the penalties for doing so are rather steep – and of course, one can’t even begin to put a price on the public embarrassment.”

Another of J.P.’s laughs exploded, scattering a flock of ravens from the branches of a nearby oak tree. “Gad, sir, you are a man after my own heart, surely you are. And exactly how much would it cost to heal the damage to your conscience, sustained in turning a blind eye to the harvesting of this plant?”

“I think a few hundred thousand, to start. That will get me started with some radio advertisements and yard signs, and a new top hat for my conjuring tricks in the debates.”

“Well, young Paco, you have me over a barrel, you do, indeed.” J.P. withdrew a checkbook from one of the side pockets of his cargo pants. “May I borrow your pen, Spurgeon? No, not that one,” he said, giving Spurgeon a knowing look. “The other one.”

Although Spurgeon was prevented by the articles of his code from actually beaming, the almost imperceptible spasm at one end of his upper lip revealed to his master that he was beaming inside. He handed over the pen with a slight bow.

J.P. scribbled out a check, then separated it from its mates. “There you are, Paco. See if that will hold you for a while.”

Paco took the check, a smile spreading across his face among the welts from the mosquito bites. “Very generous, Uncle J.P! A steady supply of these, and I’ll have to see if I can’t wangle a cabinet position for you, or at least an ambassadorship.”

J.P. smiled. “Someplace tropical, if you don’t mind, nephew. These old bones have come to deeply appreciate the heat.”

Paco climbed aboard his canoe, shoved off, and disappeared around a bend of the creek, the strains of “Moon River”, intermingled with the sound of loud slaps and a series of very vocal condemnations of the insect order, diptera, fading away in the distance.

Spurgeon removed his topee and tipped it to his employer. “Very prescient of you, sir, if I may say so, to have reminded me to pack the pen with the disappearing ink.”

“My dear fellow, if we’re going to tramp around the woods like a couple of Boy Scouts, we may as well follow their motto: ‘be prepared’. Now, where were we? Ah, yes! The spade, if you please, Spurgeon."

TSA on high alert

Checking for IEDs: improvised explosive diapers.

(H/T: Drudge Report)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Don Surber's first attempt at Photoshop


Monday Movie

Harry Lime (Orson Welles) has a low opinion of democracy.

Loved the movie, but frankly, that zither in the soundtrack got on my nerves after a while.

Happy Mother's Day!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Sunday funny

(This, and more, from Reaganite Republican)

Totally unrelated, but here's some Kentucky Derby Rule 5 action (gaudy chapeau edition).

Where's Fred Phelps when you need him?

Islamic militants hold mock funeral for bin Laden in London.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Amity Shlaes for Senate?

That would suit me right down to the ground.

They might be waiting a long time

Marc Thiessen says that Obama owes CIA interrogators an apology.
In normal times, the officials who uncovered the intelligence that led us to Osama bin Laden would get a medal. In the Obama administration, they have been given subpoenas.
This is one reason why I’m not joining the throngs who have saluted Obama for his “gutsy” call. I doubt that any president save for a President Dennis Kucinich (shudder!) would have purposely missed the opportunity to grab or take out Osama bin Laden. But I have no reason to believe that Obama has seriously reconsidered his opposition to the methods which made this action possible. So what do we do – God forbid – should there be a next time? Because as Marc says in another article, the war ain’t over.

In the IQ department, Rep. Jim Moran still not exactly closing in on Einstein

“A vote for Offshore Drilling is a Vote Against SEAL Team 6”.

(H/T: The Sundries Shack)

Australia in the news

A race horse jumped over the wrong fence in a steeplechase event in Warrnambol, Victoria, and landed in a crowd of spectators.

My guess is the horse was enraged after having read Bob Ellis’s most recent column.

Happy Feet Friday

Some very early Louis Prima, as he and his band play Loch Lomond.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Obama doesn’t want to spike the football (unless it’s an “own goal”)

Moonbattery points out that, while the preshizzle doesn’t want to inflame Muslim sensibilities by releasing photos of the dead bin Laden, he’s fine with pouring gasoline on the fire by releasing 2,000 pictures of alleged abuse at American prisons in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Ah, the savory smell of barbecued hypocrisy!

Update: We may not have photos of the dead bin Laden, but, thanks to Steve Burri, we do have a picture of the bullet that took him out.


Pardon me, but I find this a bit confusing. The “Obama administration floats a draft plan to tax cars by the mile”, but, according to a White House spokeswoman, “This is not an administration proposal”???

Regardless of who proposed this idiotic idea, it is ominous in what it reveals about the Democrats’ view of taxation in general (more, always more). And this really bothers me:
News of the draft follows a March Congressional Budget Office report that supported the idea of taxing drivers based on miles driven.

Among other things, CBO suggested that a vehicle miles traveled (VMT) tax could be tracked by installing electronic equipment on each car to determine how many miles were driven; payment could take place electronically at filling stations.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a little problem with the government putting a tracking device in my car, even if it’s just a kind of high-tech odometer. I’ve got a problem with creating a new bureaucracy, too:
Obama's proposal seems to follow up on that idea in section 2218 of the draft bill. That section would create, within the Federal Highway Administration, a Surface Transportation Revenue Alternatives Office. It would be tasked with creating a "study framework that defines the functionality of a mileage-based user fee system and other systems."
Save yourself the trouble, Obamanauts. I’ve created my own, privately-funded bureaucracy – consisting of me – and according to my “study framework”, I have concluded that the future “functionality” of any politician fool enough to try to turn this thing into the law of the land is hovering between “zero” and “none”.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Bin Laden's last Facebook entry (H/T: Instapundit).

Update: Joe Hildebrand of the Telegraph (Australia) uncovers a transcript of Bin Laden's last conversation (H/T: friend and commenter, Bruce).

Lawrence O’Donnell: Über-Olbermann?

Stacy McCain suggests that MSNBC talking (air) head Lawrence O’Donnell may be shooting for a level of obnoxiousness even higher than that attained by his predecessor.

When old Larry’s career collapses – as it inevitably will – I’ve got a standing offer for him to join Paco Enterprises’ industrial products subsidiary as a quality assurance inspector in our nitroglycerin division (motto: a short life, but a merry one).

Nitro quality assurance employee of the month, the (late) Jethro Biggins, demonstrates testing procedure

Eric Holder to Sen. Grassley: “Durrrr, I dunno”

No doubt you could fill the Library of Congress with lists of Things Attorney General Eric Holder Doesn’t Know; but I’m thinking that the background on the ATF gun-running scandal probably isn’t one of those things.

Update: Uh-oh, Eric!

Did Leon Panetta and Hillary Clinton force Obama to act on Bin Laden?

Caution! Grain of salt alert!

There are some aspects to this story by “Washington Insider” that strain belief (Professor Reynolds is skeptical, as is Steve Green). Nevertheless, given Obama’s well-earned reputation for vacillation and disengagement from the details of governing, it’s not as if it doesn’t fit the profile. A sample:
I was correct in stating there had been a push to invade the compound for several weeks if not months, primarily led by Leon Panetta, Hillary Clinton, Robert Gates, David Petraeus, and Jim Clapper. The primary opposition to this plan originated from Valerie Jarrett, and it was her opposition that was enough to create uncertainty within President Obama. Obama would meet with various components of the pro-invasion faction, almost always with Jarrett present, and then often fail to indicate his position. This situation continued for some time, though the division between Jarrett/Obama and the rest intensified more recently, most notably from Hillary Clinton. She was livid over the president’s failure to act, and her office began a campaign of anonymous leaks to the media indicating such. As for Jarrett, her concern rested on two primary fronts. One, that the military action could fail and harm the president’s already weakened standing with both the American public and the world. Second, that the attack would be viewed as an act of aggression against Muslims, and further destabilize conditions in the Middle East.
(H/T: Captain Heinrichs)

So, that’s how they did it

A lot of people have been wondering how the SEALs got their helicopters in the air and over bin Laden’s compound without interference from the Pakistani military. I believe Boy on a Bike has it figured out.

“Ok, dear, I’m just going to smoke one more cigar then I’ll give them up, I promise”

Er, as long as it’s this one.

(H/T: Mrs. Paco)

Why anybody would want to live in Washington, D.C. beats me

Wal-Mart plans to open several stores in the District over the next couple of years, and local "community activists" (read "home-grown socialists") have a few demands (H/T: Overlawyered). Here are some of my favorites:
Not ask job applicants about previous criminal convictions.

Make "ongoing contributions to a fund managed by a council of community stakeholders" that will provide incentives and support to local small businesses.

Abide by a "code of conduct with regard to its employees' freedom to choose a voice on the job without interference" (whatever the hell that means).
I know more than a few people - well-paid government employees, mostly - who live in the district by choice. The traffic's horrible, the parking situation's a mess, the police department is subpar, the public schools are among the nation's worst, there's a lot of crime, and even in some of the nicest neighborhoods you can't throw an empty bottle of Night Train without hitting a bum. Plus, the place is full of professional grievance-mongers whose main goals seem to be making the town increasingly unlivable and business-unfriendly. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: But, Paco! What about all the cultural amenities? The museums? The restaurants? The monuments? Well, you can live in a place like Northern Virginia, or even Maryland, that provides a more civilized lifestyle than D.C., and you're no more than a half hour from Washington on the Metro if you positively have to visit the Smithsonian yet again. I think having a Washington address must be a prestige thing for some folks - and now that I think of it, everybody I know who does live in D.C. is a liberal Democrat, without exception. Maybe, as liberals, they're simply drawn to the center of government power.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Historic photo

President Obama: "I hope I made the right call."

Secretary of State Clinton: "Amazing!"

Deputy Nat'l Security Adviser John Brennan: "This is history in the making."

Vice President Joe Biden: "What else is on?"

Assortment (Bin Laden edition)

Through the miracle of modern media magic, the Joint Special Operations Command is transformed from “Dick Cheney’s Assassination Squad” into “Barack Obama’s Justice League”.

Some great background on SEAL Team 6. Related: Geronimo!

Michael Moore’s opinion on the killing of bin Laden? Let’s just say… predictable.

I’m glad President Obama hates terrorists. Kinda wish he hated all of them, though.

David Brooks slaps together another dog’s breakfast of an essay, this time on bin Laden. He manages to relate a few interesting biographical facts, but then closes with this dissonant chord: “I just wish there were a democratic Bin Laden, that amid all the Arab hunger for dignity and freedom there was another inexplicable person with the ability to frame narratives and propel action - for good, not evil.” Might as well wish for a democratic Hitler or a humanitarian Stalin.

Andrew Klavan underscores the notion of justice: “This is a harsh truth because justice is a harsh good. It is not gentle like mercy. It is not stagnant like equality. It is not a soft, shapeless word to be slapped on bumper stickers or chanted during rallies in order to inflame one’s own sense of virtue. Justice is an exact description of a specific social interaction: the awarding to men and women of the outcome they deserve. This does not exist in nature, not in this life. It’s something we do, something we give and often, too often, when evil has been committed, it has to be delivered at the end of a gun. There is sometimes simply no other way.”

Interesting bumper sticker finds at Legal Insurrection. The first one reminds me of a great line from the movie, Zulu. A nervous private, on the verge of hysteria after contemplating the ominous odds before the Battle of Rorke’s Drift, is asking the Sergeant Major, “Why us?” And the burly, unflappable Sergeant Major remarks in his soft baritone, “Because there’s just us. And nobody else.”

Burial at sea

It was supposedly according to Sharia law.

Pity. I kind of like the Jeff G. method

Monday, May 2, 2011

Tories win in Canada

Hey, where's commenter Robert Blair? You're supposed to be reporting on this stuff, buddy.

Cry me a river

Some Pakistanis seem to be taking Bin Laden’s death very hard.

Well, a**holes, here’s a lesson for you: don’t mess with us. Even an American like this…

…can kick your ass, given half a chance.

But of course, the real glory goes to the Navy Seals and to our troops around the world, who have been fighting these bloody-minded fanatics for years – and will continue to do so as long as there are goat-canoodling, women-abusing, Allah-bothering mouth-breathers running around in size 5 ½ turbans visiting mayhem and murder on their betters.

Monday Movie

Barbara Stanwyck is starting to get suspicious about what happened to wife #1 in The Two Mrs. Carrolls (Humphrey Bogart stars as the villain in one of his most sinister roles).

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Bin Laden Dead!

Breaking news.

Killed a week ago, it seems. God bless our troops.

Update: Navy Seals got him.

Update II: Kathy Shaidle discovers a candidate for best comment.

Update III: Moe Lane has a video of the celebration at the Naval Academy. Gives me goose pimples.

Happy May Day, comrades!

Join the Paco revolution, and you, too, can have forearms like Popeye the Sailor!

An important birthday

The Empire State Building celebrates 80 years today.

Amazing, considering everything that building's been through...