WWBD?

Michael Moore, in Washington, D.C. to address the quarterly meeting of the America Last Committee, strolled along the Mall, rehearsing his comments. He carried a sack of food that he had purchased at a popular fast-food restaurant, and in between muttering snatches of his speech, he munched on a Mc-Side-of-Beef Muffin and took an occasional gulp from his Keg-O-Cola.

“Thank you for inviting me to be here today”, he said to himself, his whiny, nasal voice exciting angry comment in the vicinity of a mockingbird’s nest, and provoking a squirrel to chatter in a state of high dudgeon. “Well, we’re finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel in this election year”…(at the remote edge of his consciousness, there was the sound of heavy equipment)… “And a good thing, too, since we’re all pretty ‘Bushed’ by now…Let’s see…’Pause for laughter and applause’…(munch, munch, munch)…An’ fo, wifow furver ado…(*slurp*)…I’d like to…Hey!...HEY!!...H-E-Y!!!”

(Bob Mitchum, piloting the world’s largest earthmover, scoops up Michael Moore, dumps him into the reflecting pool, and pops a humongous wheelie, causing the earthmover to straddle the narrow pond, effectively trapping Moore in the water. Climbing down from the cab, Mitchum tosses the keys into the pond, reties the belt on his trench coat, and walks toward the Metro).