Tom Cruise’s movie, Valkyrie, will be opening in theaters soon. It’s about the plot to kill Hitler, and Cruise plays one of the main conspirators, Count Claus von Stauffenberg.
This film has been in the works for a very long time – so long, in fact, that I remember it was being discussed at Tim Blair’s old blog more than a year ago. Someone commented that Cruise was too short to play von Stauffenberg, and that he would have to wear spring-loaded stilts. I conjured up an out-take, which I reproduce here from memory.
Adolf Hitler: “Himmel! It’s gettink kinda shtuffy in here; Count von Stauffenberg, can you open a vindow, bleeuz?
Von Stauffenberg: “Ja wohl, mein Führer!”
(Boing! Boing! Boing! *Crash!*…Aughhhhhhh!!)
Cut!
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I just can't accept Tom Cruise as von Stauffenberg. Yet another vanity project from the H'wood fantasy factory.
ReplyDeleteWonder how many coded references to Dubya there will be in the film?
Well, if Hitler turns at some point to one of his advisors and asks how development of the "nucyular" bomb is coming along, that will be certainly be one thinly-coded reference to Dubya.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, I can't see Cruise as von Stauffenberg, either. Something about that little kid voice of his.
Or references to our dear friend Prescott and his excellent funding efforts on our behalf.
ReplyDeleteThey had to use blanks if the film includes the demise of von Stauffenberg, as Tom Cruise is still running his mouth off. So we already know that the movie isn't true to history. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAnd what's with the eyepatch?
ReplyDeleteRe 'nucular',
ReplyDeleteThat pronunciation is true to the Latin origins of the word:
'from L. nucleus "kernel," from nucula "little nut," '
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=nucleus
Interestingly, the latino pronunciation of 'ask' ('aks') is also a valid ancient parallel form of the word going back to Indo-European root languages.
I once saw a debate about these 2 words and checked.
Bruce, IIRC, von Stauffenberg lost an eye in the war, amongst other injuries. Cruise is just trying to be authentic
ReplyDeleteAlthough I never realized Nazis were so short....... :-D
Bruce, I read somewhere that that kind of swapping of internal syllables is a common event in the history of languages. 'Bird' was apparently once pronounced 'brid'.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this:
Re 'nucular',
That pronunciation is true to the Latin origins of the word:
I thought, heh! Who would have thought that the proto-Indo-Europeans had discovered the secret of nuclear fission?
From the Wikipedia entry...
The Proto-Indo-Europeans were a patrilineal society, probably semi-nomadic, relying on animal husbandry... They practiced a polytheistic religion centered on sacrificial rites, probably administered by a priestly caste... and the ancient practice of nuclear fission, the splitting of the uranium atom in a controlled reactor to derive energy for their tribe...
I wish!
Strange though. I thought Cruise and his authoritarian manner/association with a manipulative cult would go quite well as a Nazi. Not freaking von Stauffenberg, though. How arrogant is it to cast yourself in that role?
ReplyDeleteGoebbels? Nah, he was too articulate. Maybe Himmler...?
TimT: I would have thought Göring. Or maybe Rudolph Hess?
ReplyDeleteHaving just watched Cruise in "Tropic Thunder", I think he should get an Oscar for his role. Absolutely brilliant.
ReplyDeleteAnd Robert Downey Jnr as Russell Crowe? Magnifique!
The script called for a German officer who could run under the table with the bomb, and Vern Troyer was busy...
ReplyDeleteUgly people can act. Good looking people are the meal tickets for the directors who appoint them.
ReplyDeleteWitness no end of Hollywood good lookers who can't act but command enormous amounts to the bottom line of mediocre movies.
Jennifer Aniston is my current pet major dislike, just behind Kidman and Cruise. Mehaul
I admire the bottom line of many actresses. Tom may end up playing Count Santa Von Claus on a cruise ship when he puts on a bit more age and weight.
ReplyDeletebeen waiting to see this for a while and now i have i think tom was the man for the job...as a british soldier i take my hat off to stauffenburg i ges some of them did have honour and died for it...
ReplyDeletea guardsman
long live the queen