Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Complaint Window

Sheesh! These Hamas guys are hard to please; nothing but complaints about the fine line of military products manufactured by our Middle Eastern sales subsidiary, Palestinian Accessible Combat Ordnance.

First, they had a beef with our u-shaped bazookas. Then they squawked about our boomerang missile. Now they’ve got issues with our anti-aircraft rockets. Any day now, I expect that they’ll be crying about our non-motorized nitroglycerine transport device.

Update: Meanwhile, Paco Enterprises' Australian consumer-products subsidiary stays ahead of the curve.

12 comments:

  1. Heh! That's almost as good as Acme Manufacturing being owned by Roadrunner Corporation!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Richard: What can I say? The Quality Control guys were on vacation when we rolled those models out.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Perfectly Amazing Combat Ordnance! Practical, And Completely Overwhelming!

    Please Accept Compliments Of
    People Across Continents (Ours!). Plus - A Chilled Orange tundra!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't see a thing wrong with any of our product lines, Mr. President.

    I'm only a line foreman, but all did work as tested.

    Although we do need additional testicl..Ummm, testers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. On second thoughts, my acronyms need some work...

    ReplyDelete
  6. If only we could all solve our territorial disputes like wombats do.

    ReplyDelete
  7. In Thailand they make paper out of elephant dung.

    W: pyngu: the brand name of paper made from penguin poo.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The San Diego Zoo packages elephant dung and markets it as manure under the name, "Zoo Doo."

    ReplyDelete
  9. Paco, I remember when Mel Brooks and Harvey Korman sued them over their slogan, "Now go do that Zoo Doo that you do so WEEEEEEELLL....!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I just checked with the complaints department and they haven't had a single complaint about the Paco Industries pocket-sized 40mm grenade launcher.

    I must admit that I was wrong : I said leaving off the trigger assembly was no place to save cost. You said cut down the barrel to save material costs and you'll market it as "fun-sized". I said no one would buy a stubby little grenade launcher and then pay extra for your "patented" primer activating mechanism (aka a small rock). I said who could find the kind of dope that would whack the back of a fragmentation grenade filled with high explosive with a rock? I'm sorry I underestimated you.

    I don't want to sound like a pessimist all the time but have there been any repeat customers?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Colonel: From I understand, the use of these weapons is pretty, er, labor intensive.

    ReplyDelete