Friday, June 19, 2009

Barbara Boxer Answers the Question, “How Much Ego Can Be Crammed Into a Pinhead?”

It’s not a huge thing, but it really pisses me off. During a recent hearing, Brigadier General Michael Walsh addressed Boxer as “ma’am”, and was immediately chided for not using the more exalted title, “Senator.”

“You know, do me a favor. Could you say ‘senator’ instead of ‘ma’am? It’s just a thing, I worked so hard to get that title, so I’d appreciate it, yes, thank you.”

It apparently never occurred to the woman - who referred to herself during her initial run for the Senate as “just a grandmother in tennis shoes” - that military personnel spend their entire careers addressing superior officers, and civilians for that matter, as “sir” or “ma’am”. As to working so hard to become a senator, cut me a break, ma’am. You’re a freakin’ liberal Democrat in California; you’d have to burn down an abortion clinic with five gay doctors inside while wearing a General Pinochet t-shirt in order not to get elected. And being a moron is certainly no disadvantage (famous genuine quote: “Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I'm still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.”).

Over at TigerHawk, co-blogger Escort81 is using this as a precedent, and now declares that TigerHawk shall henceforth be addressed as “King of the Jungle”. He has also invited commenters to indicate the titles by which they would like to be addressed. I think that’s a first-rate idea, and I ask my own readers to post their official titles in the comments section here.

As for myself, I shall hereafter be known as Generalissimo Paco, Blog Lord of Occupied Northern Virginia – or, alternatively, Satrap of Blogdom (er, no acronyms, please. Heh.)

13 comments:

SwampWoman said...

I shall henceforth be addressed in prayer as "Goddess of the Sheep Barn" but addressed as "Madam Deity".

SwampWoman said...

Addressed in conversation as "Madam Deity". Dang, I hate when I screw up a post.

SwampWoman said...

SwampMan requests that he be addressed as "asshole". He worked hard for that title.

blogstrop said...

Babs just had to go one better than Lizzie. As for that earthquake quote; well, you know what happens to boxers who don't know when to throw in the towel.

TimT said...

Timothius, first Esquire of the Misters, and Grand Panjandrum of some that he surveys.

JeffS said...

You may address me as "Supreme Overlord Of The Universe". I worked as hard to get that as Boxer did for the title of "Senator".

Paco said...

blogstrop: I think you've hit the pin on the head, dude! She's punch-drunk.

TimT: Grand Panjandrum of some that he surveys. Hilarious!

Jeff: Yeah, but where do you go from there?

Swampie: Sorry, but if I ever meet your husband, I'm sticking with "sir".

JeffS said...

"Yeah, but where do you go from there?"

I'll sell franchises in alternate universes.

Paco said...

Jeff: Haw! Paco Enterprises needs you in its Product Development Department!

Anonymous said...

Rather than being referred to as the night janitor, I'd like to be addressed as "That Guy Over There". Thanks.

Boy on a bike said...

I wish to be addressed as "Maaaaate". Preferably as in, "Maaaaaate, do you wanna beer?"

Skeeter said...

Seeing as how I chose it for myself, I am content to stay with my VRWC rank of Minion Emeritus.

Michael Lonie said...

You may call me "Your Excellency", for I am excellent in all things.

Sort of like the poet Grosvenor in Gilbert and Sullivan's opera "Patience" who tells us that he is called "Archibld the All-Right, for I am infallible."

These arrogant clowns in DC remind me that there is a weighty philosophical justification for the old wisdom of "throw the bastards out" at election time. That is, vote against the incumbent, no matter who he, she, or it is. Being elected to the Senate or apointed to a congresscritter's staff does not make some third-rate clown an aristocrat, as they sem to think.