"There are countless horrible things happening all over the world and horrible people prospering, but we must never allow them to disturb our equanimity or deflect us from our sacred duty to sabotage and annoy them whenever possible." -Auberon Waugh
No, we were not. Actually, I was curious at first but tried to get someone else to take one for the team. No one would. And no one did.
Just because you Yanks love peanut butter and jelly (er, it's jam guys), and have no problem mixing it in a jar, doesn't mean that, even though vegemite and cheese is good, we want to mix it in a jar.
It's like "cheese product". How in fuck can you do that?
The woman who delivered my BEEootiful granddaughter is Australian by birth, married to an ex-Navy guy for a kajillion years now. On their last trip to Oz, I forgot to ask them to bring me back some Vegemite. My Chief doesn't like it, but I'd like to TRY it.
I don't like peanut butter in the same jar as honey OR jam. Ick. So I sympathize with the vegemite/cheese deniers, in principle.
BOAB, I was one who protested New Coke, too. Got our REAL Thing back, we did!
I know, through bitter experience, that one shouldn't mess with the official Australian dish. The Australian subsidiary of Paco Enterprises marketed a substitute a few years ago - Pacomite - which consisted of the same ingredients as Vegemite - vasoline and gun powder - but the locals were still so incensed that they set up catapaults outside our factory and hurled dead kangaroos over the wall. My advice to Kraft? Leave the stuff alone.
Well I found the Pacomite very useful what with the shortage of ammo and reloading supplies around here. Dead skippies! I could have sworn that last batch had Yeti hair in it. Silly me.
Becca, for the first time in ages, iTried some kimchi (War on Spelling) again on DayX. The restaurant served up some particularly juicy variety. It was actually sweet!... but still kimchi, yet not bad. Edible, even. In small doses. It's like Korea's own crack cocaine.
I was sick the next day however. Might have more to do with the cigarettes and cold snap but. And soju.
Now as for Vegemite. Count you Yanks lucky it was you doing the waterboarding.
Actually, we would have been even more humane if it were us dishing out the interrogations. No waterboarding. Just giving the detainees (is that still the word?) good wholesome Vegemite on toast.
Pacomite quiets that squeeky door right away, however the warning label does need to be larger. On-the-other-hand, the long planned remodel is going quite well. The new door (and surrounding area)will look much better. The cat, however, will take a bit more time. Thanks Paco Enterprises for another fine product!
I'd like to try some Vegemite, but although Tim Blair once offered to send a sample to anyone who gave him their email, he lied! Dang aussie, building up my hopes!
Traditional Vegemite also has this advantage: when a person from overseas visits, they can be told 'oh, that jar on the shelf with the brown stuff in it? It's chocolate butter. Would you like some? Here's a slice of toast, here's a knife...'
Fast forward to 10 seconds later, when the visitor chomps down on their 'chocolate sandwich', and their face contorts...
I once had vegemite on thin toast at a party at the Australian Embassy. Sorry, but I can't remember what it tasted like beyond a slight salty taste. Went well with Fosters beers, though.
I'm afraid the joke's on you, twice. Neither are actually consumed in Australia but are rather elaborate jokes to be played on foreigners.
Actually, vegemite, unlike Fosters, is occasionally consumable. You could no more describe its taste than you could colour to a blind man but I've found the only time I can stomach it is when I'm travelling in some god forsaken third world hellhole when its taste cuts overly sweet third world bread.
i have tried vegemite (still have the jar. i understand it has an undefinitive shelf life) prefer marmite. paco, next time i see you, you can have my vegemite but then i do consider you a friend. ;)
Had some Aussie soldiers gives us some once, it made really good track grease. I must say, it made us REALLY appreciate MRE's. Nothing like cooking an MRE on the heat deflector of our exhaust to get diesel fumes in it so that we could get the taste of ass and catfood out of our mouth.......
Hey, I sent Blair my email too, way back in the old days when he promised to send us all a small packet of Vegemite. I don't think he realized he'd get so many requests, or maybe he was drinking when he posted that. ;-)
You asked for a description of what Vegemite tastes like. The NYT describes it quite well " the salty, gooey yeast paste". Add a dask of tincture of Iodine and some hydraulic fluid, you're pretty close.
Many decades ago, we had a small contingent of Marines join us for an exercise at Lancelin. Whilst riding in the back of a truck up to the range, we opened our rat packs, extracted the small tin of vegemite that comes in every one, and smeared a bit behind each ear.
A Marine said, "What is that for?"
A digger replied, "It keeps away the drop bears".
A long explanation of drop bears then followed. We talked about how the bears lurk in tall trees and drop on unsuspecting people walking by below and smother them to death.
We managed to convince the Marines to smear vegemite behind their ears just before we entered the Lancelin range.
Lancelin is all sand dunes, salt bush and low scrub. I'm surprised they didn't kill us once they discovered the joke.
It was easier to get them to stick it behind their ears than to convince them to eat it.
I don't think he realized he'd get so many requests, or maybe he was drinking when he posted that. ;-)
I think it was mostly the former, he figured nobody in their right mind would actually want any. I really do want to taste some but not enough to hunt up a whole jar and pay for it.
No, we were not. Actually, I was curious at first but tried to get someone else to take one for the team. No one would. And no one did.
ReplyDeleteJust because you Yanks love peanut butter and jelly (er, it's jam guys), and have no problem mixing it in a jar, doesn't mean that, even though vegemite and cheese is good, we want to mix it in a jar.
It's like "cheese product". How in fuck can you do that?
Not amused? I was ready to march on Kraft HQ with a burning torch with the intention of hanging a few marketing types from lamp posts.
ReplyDeleteExactly, BOAB. Perfection is perfection. You can't have Perfection 2.0, let alone iPerfection 2.0
ReplyDeleteIn the name of Jesus, Mohammed and Gaia, and some rabbi called Scott, what on Earth were they thinking?1
This is what happens when successive government red tape stifles, chokes, hangs Australian business. You get no secondary industry.
ReplyDeleteAnd what happens? Vegemite gets bought by the Yanks, yet perhaps only ostensibly to keep it alive.
Yeck, but thanks to Australian red tape, Yanks saying yeck to Vegemite is better than us having no Vegemite.
Try the iSnack, oops, iSnack 2.0 in the States, maybe.
Look, we Aussies and Americans are basically the same. But as they say in Korea, "Same same, but different."
And you can pry my Vegemite out of my cold dead hands.
Paco, look up an author called Nino Culotta.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/They%27re_a_Weird_Mob
The woman who delivered my BEEootiful granddaughter is Australian by birth, married to an ex-Navy guy for a kajillion years now. On their last trip to Oz, I forgot to ask them to bring me back some Vegemite. My Chief doesn't like it, but I'd like to TRY it.
ReplyDeleteI don't like peanut butter in the same jar as honey OR jam. Ick. So I sympathize with the vegemite/cheese deniers, in principle.
BOAB, I was one who protested New Coke, too. Got our REAL Thing back, we did!
I know, through bitter experience, that one shouldn't mess with the official Australian dish. The Australian subsidiary of Paco Enterprises marketed a substitute a few years ago - Pacomite - which consisted of the same ingredients as Vegemite - vasoline and gun powder - but the locals were still so incensed that they set up catapaults outside our factory and hurled dead kangaroos over the wall. My advice to Kraft? Leave the stuff alone.
ReplyDeletestill laughing at "pacomite"
ReplyDeletepriceless
Well I found the Pacomite very useful what with the shortage of ammo and reloading supplies around here. Dead skippies! I could have sworn that last batch had Yeti hair in it. Silly me.
ReplyDeleteOy! Will they never stop sticking "i" on the front of names of things?
ReplyDeleteI'd also like to try Vegemite, kc, just because I've heard so much about it. I'd probably like it, too, because, hey I actually like Korean kimchee!
As for Pacomite, I've found it to be a perfect solution to the slug problem in my garden.
Rebecca: You're absolutely right! That's why we just changed the labels and marketed the stuff under the trade name, Slug-B-Gone.
ReplyDeleteBecca, for the first time in ages, iTried some kimchi (War on Spelling) again on DayX. The restaurant served up some particularly juicy variety. It was actually sweet!... but still kimchi, yet not bad. Edible, even. In small doses. It's like Korea's own crack cocaine.
ReplyDeleteI was sick the next day however. Might have more to do with the cigarettes and cold snap but. And soju.
Now as for Vegemite. Count you Yanks lucky it was you doing the waterboarding.
Actually, we would have been even more humane if it were us dishing out the interrogations. No waterboarding. Just giving the detainees (is that still the word?) good wholesome Vegemite on toast.
Pacomite quiets that squeeky door right away, however the warning label does need to be larger. On-the-other-hand, the long planned remodel is going quite well. The new door (and surrounding area)will look much better. The cat, however, will take a bit more time. Thanks Paco Enterprises for another fine product!
ReplyDeleteDeborah Leigh
I've found Pacomite to be the perfect foil to the winds.
ReplyDeleteGood lord what a retarded name.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to try some Vegemite, but although Tim Blair once offered to send a sample to anyone who gave him their email, he lied! Dang aussie, building up my hopes!
Traditional Vegemite also has this advantage: when a person from overseas visits, they can be told 'oh, that jar on the shelf with the brown stuff in it? It's chocolate butter. Would you like some? Here's a slice of toast, here's a knife...'
ReplyDeleteFast forward to 10 seconds later, when the visitor chomps down on their 'chocolate sandwich', and their face contorts...
Not that I'd *ever* do anything like that.
@Christopher Taylor - I think I sent my email to him, too. That was a long time ago!
ReplyDelete@RebeccaH - I like kimchee, too! And bleu cheese. I'll still pass on the lutefisk (hubby calls it fish jello), though.
I've tried Vegemite; Tim was kind enough to leave me a small jar when we hooked up in Kuwait.
ReplyDeleteSorry, Oz, but it's definitely an acquired taste. Preferably from birth, when you don't know any better.
Still, I appreciate your outrage; I recall my ire when they stopped making powdered coffee creamer from coconuts.
I once had vegemite on thin toast at a party at the Australian Embassy. Sorry, but I can't remember what it tasted like beyond a slight salty taste. Went well with Fosters beers, though.
ReplyDeleteRetread
"Went well with Fosters beers, though."
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid the joke's on you, twice. Neither are actually consumed in Australia but are rather elaborate jokes to be played on foreigners.
Actually, vegemite, unlike Fosters, is occasionally consumable. You could no more describe its taste than you could colour to a blind man but I've found the only time I can stomach it is when I'm travelling in some god forsaken third world hellhole when its taste cuts overly sweet third world bread.
cac: I have to admit, that whole comment made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI think it was the torch and pitchfork-wielding mob outside their office building that really made up the Ad men's minds...
ReplyDeleteBrewer's scrapings in a jar.
How's it taste? Crap, with salt. Sorry, guys, but that's my opinion.
And lay off the peanut butter cracks, wiseguys...
i have tried vegemite (still have the jar. i understand it has an undefinitive shelf life) prefer marmite.
ReplyDeletepaco, next time i see you, you can have my vegemite
but then i do consider you a friend. ;)
Miss Red: Gee, t'anks!
ReplyDeleteHad some Aussie soldiers gives us some once, it made really good track grease. I must say, it made us REALLY appreciate MRE's. Nothing like cooking an MRE on the heat deflector of our exhaust to get diesel fumes in it so that we could get the taste of ass and catfood out of our mouth.......
ReplyDeleteHey, I sent Blair my email too, way back in the old days when he promised to send us all a small packet of Vegemite. I don't think he realized he'd get so many requests, or maybe he was drinking when he posted that. ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou asked for a description of what Vegemite tastes like. The NYT describes it quite well " the salty, gooey yeast paste". Add a dask of tincture of Iodine and some hydraulic fluid, you're pretty close.
ReplyDeleteBTW....great stuff on your election results
How does vegemite taste? I gotta go with "Crap, with salt".
ReplyDeleteWith emphasis on "crap".
Well, at least we know where all those "New Coke" marketers ended up.
ReplyDeleteMany decades ago, we had a small contingent of Marines join us for an exercise at Lancelin. Whilst riding in the back of a truck up to the range, we opened our rat packs, extracted the small tin of vegemite that comes in every one, and smeared a bit behind each ear.
ReplyDeleteA Marine said, "What is that for?"
A digger replied, "It keeps away the drop bears".
A long explanation of drop bears then followed. We talked about how the bears lurk in tall trees and drop on unsuspecting people walking by below and smother them to death.
We managed to convince the Marines to smear vegemite behind their ears just before we entered the Lancelin range.
Lancelin is all sand dunes, salt bush and low scrub. I'm surprised they didn't kill us once they discovered the joke.
It was easier to get them to stick it behind their ears than to convince them to eat it.
PS - my kids will eat their way through a 220gm jar (I think that is half a pound) in a couple of weeks.
ReplyDeleteIf you can eat Vegemite raw from the jar, you can play football without helmets and pads etc.
I don't think he realized he'd get so many requests, or maybe he was drinking when he posted that. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI think it was mostly the former, he figured nobody in their right mind would actually want any. I really do want to taste some but not enough to hunt up a whole jar and pay for it.
Would anybody like to take a stab at trying to explain what this stuff tastes like?
ReplyDeletePaco what an excellent play on words! As you well know it tastes like being stabbed in the tongue.
One of the better ways to doctor the Honeymoon Car is to smear Vegemite on the exhaust manifold of the engine.
ReplyDeleteThere is a very strong cooking smell all through the honeymoon!
Heh heh heh!!!