Obama to name a competence czar

From Paco World News Daily (PWN'D):

Reeling from public criticism - of everything from a chaotic foreign policy to mishandling the oil spill crisis to sponsoring ineffective or, as some say, disastrous economic initiatives - President Obama told reporters today that he planned to name a "competence czar".

"No man is an island," the beleaguered president told the Press, after nine holes of golf in humid, 89-degree heat. "Delegation is what made this country great, and, although George Bush forgot that fact, to the nation's detriment, I intend to restore the concept of teamwork to government."

President Obama expanded on this theme. "Let me give you an analogy. America is like a professional basketball team. I, as president, am the owner. Now, you don't see Abe Pollin down on the floor, mapping out strategy for the Washington Wizards." PWND reporter, Brad Smilo, pointed out that one reason for that might be that Pollin died last year. "Well," the president continued, "whoever the owner is, he doesn't, as a rule, interfere with the coach. The owner looks for someone who has comprehensive knowledge of the game, experience and savvy. In short, he hires the most competent coach he can find, since I, er...he...the owner doesn't have the competence to manage the team on a day-to-day basis. That's why I'm going to conduct a nationwide search for someone who has the knowledge and background that will enable him - or her, as the case may be - to handle the many problems that our country faces." Brad Smilo suggested that the people who elected him might be forgiven for thinking that he, the president, had actually been hired to deal with our nation's problems. To which the president responded, somewhat cryptically, "Oh, look! A chipmunk!", before disappearing with his entourage inside the club house.

Insiders speculate that the president already has someone in mind for this new position.


"Would I like to be competence czar? Soit'nly!"

Update: A most cordial welcome to Instapundit readers. I don't know who tipped the professor off, but thanks.