Tuesday, February 8, 2011

ObamaCare already generating exciting new medical treatments

Like giving people s**t enemas.
"C. Diff," as it is commonly called among the gastric groupies, is a tough little bug that patients are increasingly catching in hospitals and nursing homes.

Although antibiotics are now the first mode of attack, a growing number of gastroenterologists like Dr. Lawrence Brandt of the Montefiore Medical Center, in New York, believe that, in some cases, injecting excrement either by enema or through a gastric tube inserted in the nose is more effective.
Now, how does this work exactly? Do they dose you with your own, or just scoop something out of the nearest bedpan?

Oh, wait. Here's the answer.
"There are some donor banks in Australia, but here in the U.S., we use fresh stool from donors," Brandt said.

Just as blood donors are screened, so, too, are those who supply doo-doo.
Well, that's a relief. I wouldn't want 'em shootin' me up with just any old poop.

(BTW - vault custodian at an Australian poop bank. Not just a job; a calling)


Mr. Bingley said...

Only the finest Previously Assimilated Colonic Objects for you, Dear Friend!

Isophorone said...

This is worse than putting the toothpaste back into the tube!

JeffS said...

"Get stuffed!" just took on new meaning.

Merilyn said...


bruce said...

Aah, an employment opportunity here in Aus.

Well I've worked as radioactive waste disposer - with Geiger counter and all.

Actually I also disposed of E Coli cultures for a lab, grown in Yeast medium. So there were some visiting American researchers who we were persuading to eat Vegemite. 'That's the same stuff we grow E Coli in. No Thanks!'. They had a point. Here is Australia we 'eat pieces of sh*t for breakfast' to quote Happy Gilmore.

w/v: tursesse !!!

Paco said...

Isophorone: Now, that's hilarious!

Yojimbo said...

Serves y'all right for getting dumped on in The Ashes.

Australia has an offical whale whisperer so why not an official poop bank. Who regulates and examines this bank anyway, the Department of Excavation or Weights and Measures?

Steve Skubinna said...

So who fist came up with the idea of shoving shit up somebody's nose?

I'm guessing Joe Biden.

Minicapt said...

1. http://www.slate.com/id/2282768

2. "It's true there's been no major clinical trial of fecal transplants, but the procedure appears in the medical literature at least as far back as 1958. That's when a Denver-based surgeon named Ben Eiseman performed four of the procedures to rid patients of a form of colitis thought to be caused by C. diff."


Anonymous said...

Donors?! Say what, Doc? You want to put a tube up the nose and funnel in, what? (insert sound of running feet)

If they need donors then I think t C. Diff isn't the only worry. Might have to put that tube somewhere else, and pump something else.

Do the gastricphiles get a choice of donor like a fertilizaton clinic? Bet they pay through the nose too.

Deborah Leigh