It is a savage land, a veritable moonscape, almost three thousand uncivilized miles stretching between the fragile civilized coastal regions, filled with superstitious tribal hostility and the bonfires of devil-worshipers, something to make Road Warrior look like a Disney travelogue.
That's right, I'm talking about Middle America. Flyover country. The fruited plains. The hunting ground of slope-headed neanderthals. Or at least, that's the way New York Times media reporter David Carr sees things. Bible-thumpers and gun-clingers, most of them probably the product of incest, I bet. You can tell, you know. The genetic deterioration shows. For example, here's an obvious specimen of Homo Missouriensis:
Oh, wait. That's not a Missouri aborigine. That's...David Carr. One of our cultural and intellectual betters. The aforementioned reporter for the NYT. Here's another picture of him looking - in his own words - "kind of dickish".
I guess we should all scurry into our holes, now that we've been dissed by a former crack addict.