"There are countless horrible things happening all over the world and horrible people prospering, but we must never allow them to disturb our equanimity or deflect us from our sacred duty to sabotage and annoy them whenever possible." -Auberon Waugh
Sunday, June 12, 2011
I have somewhat mixed feelings about this Australian workers' comp case
Cuthbert J. Twillie: I'm tending bar one time down in the lower East side in New York... a tough felona comes in there by the name of Chicago Molly. I cautioned her, "None of your peccadilloes in here." There was some hot lunch on the bar comprising of succotash, Philadelphia cream cheese and asparagus with mayonnaise. She dips her mitt down into this melange - I'm yawning at the time - and she hits me right in the mug with it. I jumps over the bar and I knocks her down. Squawk Mulligan, bartender: [walks up] Where's the funnel? Cuthbert J. Twillie: I don't know. It's up along there somewhere. You were there the night I knocked Chicago Molly down, weren't you? Squawk Mulligan, bartender: YOU knocked her down? I was the one that knocked her down. Cuthbert J. Twillie: [to the barfly] Oh, yeah, yes, that's right. He knocked her down. But I was the one started kicking her! Squawk Mulligan, bartender: Here's the funnel. Cuthbert J. Twillie: [to Squawk] Yeah, OK. [to barfly] Cuthbert J. Twillie: I starts kicking her in the midriff. D'ja ever kick a woman in the midriff that had a pair of corsets on? Barfly drinking Panther: No, I just can't recall any such incident right now. Cuthbert J. Twillie: Why I almost broke my great toe. I never had such a painful experience. Barfly drinking Panther: Uh, did she ever come back again? Squawk Mulligan, bartender: I'll say she came back! She came back a week later and beat the both of us up. Cuthbert J. Twillie: Yeah. But she had another woman with her... an elderly lady with gray hair.
Hey are youse knocking our customer service ethic?
ReplyDeleteNo, no, not at all! Er, check, please!
ReplyDeleteDepends on who threw the first punch, I guess, but I have to agree: not good public relations.
ReplyDeleteCuthbert J. Twillie: I'm tending bar one time down in the lower East side in New York... a tough felona comes in there by the name of Chicago Molly. I cautioned her, "None of your peccadilloes in here." There was some hot lunch on the bar comprising of succotash, Philadelphia cream cheese and asparagus with mayonnaise. She dips her mitt down into this melange - I'm yawning at the time - and she hits me right in the mug with it. I jumps over the bar and I knocks her down.
ReplyDeleteSquawk Mulligan, bartender: [walks up] Where's the funnel?
Cuthbert J. Twillie: I don't know. It's up along there somewhere. You were there the night I knocked Chicago Molly down, weren't you?
Squawk Mulligan, bartender: YOU knocked her down? I was the one that knocked her down.
Cuthbert J. Twillie: [to the barfly] Oh, yeah, yes, that's right. He knocked her down. But I was the one started kicking her!
Squawk Mulligan, bartender: Here's the funnel.
Cuthbert J. Twillie: [to Squawk] Yeah, OK.
[to barfly]
Cuthbert J. Twillie: I starts kicking her in the midriff. D'ja ever kick a woman in the midriff that had a pair of corsets on?
Barfly drinking Panther: No, I just can't recall any such incident right now.
Cuthbert J. Twillie: Why I almost broke my great toe. I never had such a painful experience.
Barfly drinking Panther: Uh, did she ever come back again?
Squawk Mulligan, bartender: I'll say she came back! She came back a week later and beat the both of us up.
Cuthbert J. Twillie: Yeah. But she had another woman with her... an elderly lady with gray hair.
HAW!
ReplyDelete