Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Man confesses to future crime

I mean, that’s convenient. We’ll know who the culprit is without having to waste a lot of time investigating the incident. Just round him up and ship him off to jail. Very thoughtful, in a twisted sort of way.

Occasionally-employed comic and full-time asshat Chris Titus is making plans to assassinate Sarah Palin:
“You know what man?” Titus said. “I am going to literally — if she gets elected president, I am going to hang out on the grassy knoll all the time, just loaded and ready — because you know what? It’s for my country. It’s for my country. If I got to sacrifice myself, it’s for my country.”
He’s kidding…I presume…but my guess is if he were to try it, Sarah would outdraw him and put a window between his eyes without even having to stop waving at the crowd.

So, what kind of weapon do you think Sarah ought to carry to protect herself from the likes of Chris Titus? I figure she’d probably pack a .45 semi-auto, but for sheer dramatic effect and historical symbolism, I’d like to see her whip out a Colt dragoon.
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9 comments:

  1. JPJune 7, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    This person is one sad step away from Jared Loughner.

    Actually psycho Jared, probably has a higher I.Q.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JeffSJune 7, 2011 at 8:29 PM

    If not a Colt Dragoon, Sarah could whip this out.

    Chris Titus would crap his pants while running away.

    ReplyDelete
  3. richard mcenroeJune 8, 2011 at 1:55 AM

    Stacy Keach stole his sitcom out from under him. It left a mark...

    ReplyDelete
  4. MikaelJune 8, 2011 at 2:53 AM

    Nah, She won't need a gun. More likely one of those ninja trowing stars, whatever the proper term is. She'll throw it with her left hand while waiving at the crowd with her right without even looking in his general direction, and Titus will never see it coming.
    Much like 99 percent of the political punditry.

    Man, I love that woman. If she decides to run, I'll apply for a US citizenship in a heartbeat so I could vote for her.

    Word: facrowyb: Titus's last words when aforementioned star penetrates his jugular.

    ReplyDelete
  5. MerilynJune 8, 2011 at 4:58 AM

    .....and of course if anything happens to Sarah Palin, the media will blame Chris Titus for inciting hatred".......right?

    How about a rocket launcher?

    ReplyDelete
  6. PacoJune 8, 2011 at 6:40 AM

    Richard: Actually, that's true.

    ReplyDelete
  7. RebeccaHJune 8, 2011 at 9:23 AM

    That little twerp ought to take a lesson: don't mess with the mama grizzly.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousJune 8, 2011 at 5:25 PM

    All Sarah would have to do is look at him, and sissy Titus would be a star track athlete. That is until she ran him down...in high heels. Pit bull with lipstick! I can just hear her laughing, and saying, "No, Todd. It's okay. I'll take this one."

    Deborah Leigh

    ReplyDelete
  9. missredJune 8, 2011 at 9:51 PM

    and where is the fbi on this one? eh? eh? eh?

    ReplyDelete

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