Presidential press conference, the Rose Garden.
Obama: Ok, I’ve got time for one more question. You, sir…No, wait! I didn’t recognize…Ugh! All right, go ahead.
Reporter: Good morning, Mr. President. Brad Smilo, here, from Paco World News Daily. Sir, as you know, gas prices are skyrocketing. Going back to December of 2008, your soon-to-be Secretary of Energy, Dr. Steven Chu, said higher prices would be a good thing. But now, you – and he – are saying you’d like to see lower prices. What has changed in the intervening period to cause you and Dr. Chu to alter your views? I mean, besides the increasingly likely prospect of your being a one-term president?
Obama: Besides the prospect of me being a one-term president? Isn’t that reason enough? Well, let me think a minute. Ok, how about this? When Dr. Chu started talking about ratcheting up gas prices, he meant over a period 15 years. My expectation was that I would have served out my second term of office and been long gone by the time the price got this high. I guess these price increases are just another example of our, er, faster-than-expected progress. Anyway, my administration is doing everything it can to develop energy conservation measures, as well as alternative energy sources.
Smilo: You mean like spreading the gospel of properly-inflated tires? And algae?
Obama: Hey, never underestimate pond scum!
Smilo: Oh, I won’t, Mr. President, never again.
Obama: Now, with respect to…S-a-y... Was that a dig?
Smilo: One follow-up question, sir…
Obama: *Sigh*…If you must.
Smilo: Isn’t that a Chevy Volt burning over there by the West Wing? And the man in the smoldering suit, rolling on the ground; isn’t that GE’s CEO, Jeffrey Immelt?
Obama [snapping head around in horror, but then quickly relaxing]: What!?! Oh…Whew!…I thought I’d lost a campaign donor there for a minute. No, that’s not Jeff; it’s just Transportation Secretary LaHood. Some of you folks go douse him, will you? [Scowls at Smilo] Anything else, Brad?
Smilo: This business between you and the Catholic Church…
Obama [Tearing his suit jacket off and leaping from the podium]: Sorry, out of time! Hold on, Ray! I’ll save you!
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Heh! Brad has been "liberated"! Just in time to cover the next blockbuster story.
ReplyDeleteHere they come to save the day
FEMACORPS is ..on..the..way!
Rollout by September to help with disaster relief. Good to know that we won't have any tornadoes or hurricanes during the better part of the summer! AND they promise to spend our money in a judicious manner! What's not ta like?
I propose that Brad get on this right away. Think of the story, Obama tames weather. I'm thinking Nobel in Science here.
/This post sponsored by the Day Late and a Dollar Short Society.
Bravo! Keep up the investigative journalism, Mr. Smilo!
ReplyDeleteOh, I hope Barry didn't burn his fingers when he threw that Secret Service agent on top of Ray.
Deborah Leigh said...In a 2008 interview, Obama stated he wouldn't be upset to see $7.00 per gallon gas. He said we should be more like Europe. Obama also said that utlities need to skyrocket. Well, that's two promises kept. Republicans should be using that interview everyday.
ReplyDeleteThe point needs to be made that he gave billions to PetroBras to drill and search for oil. He says permits are up in the US. Pinocchio has a brother.
It doesn't seem that people realize that the debate over ANWR was 15 years ago. Great idea for a bumper sticker: ANWR: The future is now. Another one would be: Drill and Build