Well, awwwwwreet! This is the preshizzle comin’ at you from Cap City, USA, an’ I want all you gates and wrens to dial this in and listen up. Looks like the GOP gonna field some icky Jeff, some goon from Saskatoon, to run me off the main kick this November. Neighho to that, hep cats and kittens, I know ya’ll ain’t comin’ on that tab. I may have to bust my conk, but, come election time, ya’ll know the ol’ O is gonna break it out, and that square’s gonna have to trilly. So, you alligators and brees roll out of them lily whites in the early bright on November 6th, shove your dogs in your ground grippers and truck on down to the pollin’ booth, and we’ll collar four more years of righteous jive. Solid, Jackson!
Hi de hi de hi de ho!
ReplyDeleteWow for the sustained meta lingo.
but
"shove your dogs in your ground grippers" had me worried for a moment, considering the circumstances and all.
All Obama has to campaign on is his "coolness" (bleah!) and "black ethnicity" (Meh).
ReplyDeleteBoth of which you capture beautifully in this post.
It's a wonder that Obama hasn't shaved his head and put a gold ring in his ear yet.
ReplyDeleteIt's still April, Mrs. H.
ReplyDeleteDeborah Leigh said...What he say.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who believes The Current Occupant (and by extension, his family) is cool has lost their ever-lovin' mind. He throws a ball like a dork, wears jeans like an 80's soccer mom, and sings nearly as bad as I do.
ReplyDeleteAin't got the brains God gave a crowbar, and even less 'cool.'
BTW, LOVE this post, Paco, thank you for the smile!
Now to translate into Ebonics …
ReplyDeleteCheers
Bruce: I hadn't even considered that angle! Haw!
ReplyDeleteKC: Thanks. I think one of the best ways to show both (a) the ephemeral nature of coolness, and (b) the irrelevance of the attribute to the office of president, is to underscore that what's hip today is just a matter of historical curiosity tomorrow; thus, Cab Calloway in a zoot suit spouting 1940s jive, standing in as a proxy for our supposedly "cool" president.
I consider it unfair to associate Cab Calloway with your president. Calloway was a very smart, articulate, productive man, born in the USA, the son of two worthy citizens, who composed his own material and wrote his own autobiography (with a little help, which he acknowledged). In contrast, however, Obama…
ReplyDeleteDeadman: My intent was only to borrow Cab's zoot suit. It is unfortunate that the great man just happened to be in it at the time.
ReplyDelete