Monday, June 4, 2012

The Solomon of Maryland

What a titan of intellect, wisdom and legal knowledge is C.J. Vaughey! Patterico has audio and transcripts of Aaron Walker’s day in court with Brett Kimberlin, during which Judge Vaughey, among other sterling achievements, reinterprets First Amendment rights according to his own endearingly whimsical worldview (which the cynical and uncharitable among us might be tempted to label as staggering ignorance, and perhaps even as Exhibit A in evidence of hizzoner’s affliction with the Dunning-Kruger effect).

One cannot help but believe – or hope, at least - that Vaughey’s ruling will be tossed out on appeal, and that Vaughey himself will return to that retirement which he was unwisely persuaded to temporarily abandon, and in which he would be wisely counseled to remain hereafter, without further official exertions on his part in the cause of – or maybe it would be better, given his lack of seriousness on the subject, to say, “in pursuing the hobby of” - justice. If this distinguished jurist is looking for activities to fill up the idle hours of his day, might I suggest golf, or stamp collecting, or volunteer work outside of the legal realm? I recollect that he professed an interest in Royal typewriters; perhaps he could devote his remaining years to the collection and restoration of these relics of a simpler time, a time when judges were spared the tedium of staying abreast of rapid technological and social change, and were free from the indignity of seeing the gem-like magniloquence of their legal opinions marred by silly words like “blog” and “tweet” (a time, moreover, when a judge’s errors were not likely to be greeted by a younger generation with the ominously cryptic responses, “LOL!” and “WTF?”).

Who knows? Given sufficient time, and with the application of industry and determination, Judge Vaughey (ret.) may succeed in acquiring a complete set of Royal typewriters, produced down through the ages. He might even attain a certain local fame, like the woman in Cecil County, Maryland, with 60 cats, or like my own Uncle Hubert, whose vast collection of salt and pepper shakers is the wonder of Frog Pond, North Carolina.

6 comments:

Minicapt said...

He's from Maryland; that's like just next door, isn't it?

Cheers

rinardman said...

Sounds like a tailor-made judge, for a douchebag like Kimberlin.

JeffS said...

I'll bet he's a real joy at birthday parties.

RebeccaH said...

I believe that Judge Vaughey, heretofore ignorant of the uses and abuses of the internet, is about to feel its power.

mojo said...

"Do not annoy Mr. Happy-Fun Court."

Leave it alone, Internet. At least until Aaron is out of his power.

Paco said...

Aaron has already appealed to a higher court.