“Somebody got them the way they are now,” the mayor of New York said in a recent interview as he sat in the bullpen offices of City Hall, surrounded by a buzzing staff, blinking Bloomberg terminals and clocks telling the same time in each of the five boroughs. “Why can’t you change them?”I’ll tell you, your honor, it all has to do with the fallacy of the perfectibility of human nature, especially through the agency of heavy-handed government, and very particularly when “perfectibility” is defined essentially to mean “tractability”. One reason we’re the "way we are" is because we resent having overprivileged idiots trying to micromanage our lives. Another reason is that we believe those idiots, in insisting on the self-evident truth of their prejudices, are actively undermining republican government by attempting to exclude genuine debate from the public forum of ideas.
Oh, and one other reason we are the way we are - perhaps not the most important, but nevertheless significant - is that you are an arrogant, preening, hypocritical ass. Good enough for the masochistic swarms of New Yorkers who keep electing you, I suppose, secure in the delusion that their celebrated brashness makes them riotously independent, when, in fact, they are nothing but sheep with an attitude; but of no use whatsoever outside your present jurisdiction.
Update: By the way, looks like you almost missed one, slick.