“Well, you know, my shotgun will do better for you than your AR-15, because you want to keep someone away from your house, just fire the shotgun through the door.”Update: : Can’t wait for Biden’s next awesome piece of advice on home defense; probably he’ll be telling us that, once we’ve shot the guy on our front porch, we need to be sure and drag him inside the house. Or, after blasting away with our 12 ga., maybe we should position the body in the yard with a gun in his hand in such a way as to suggest suicide.
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Investigating officer: So, Mr. Vice President, you’re saying that you heard a noise in your front yard, came out to look around, and you saw the deceased lying there with a gun in his hand?
Biden: That’s right, officer. Just flat on his back with a handgun pointed at his own head. Looks like suicide to me.
IO: Hmm…that’s strange. His own gun is a Glock semi-automatic pistol, and it’s still carrying a fully-loaded magazine. The face of the deceased is full of holes, but you’re suggesting that he shot himself multiple times, and then reloaded? Is that what you’re saying?
Biden: Yeah, sure looks like it. I suppose you guys see this kind of thing every day.
IO: A lot less frequently than you might imagine - particularly among police officers who are just going door to door handing out flyers on missing children.
Biden: Guess the, er, pathos of the whole thing finally got to him.
IO: Possibly. In any event, I’m sure the chief would be very interested in hearing your theories on this shooting down at the station. Would you come with me, please? We’ll take a nice little drive in the great big patrol car down to see the friendly police chief. Just duck your head getting into the back seat…Mind your plugs.
Biden: Can you turn on the siren? And the flashing lights? I love that stuff!
Update II: Haw! H/T to JeffS for this one: