Wednesday, May 29, 2013
The love song of E.J. Dionne
"Say, did you catch 'Morning Joe' today?"
"Dude, you know I don't watch that left-wing crap."
"Neither do I, but some liberal sap put MSNBC on the TV in the waiting room of the shop this morning while his Chevy Volt was being repainted."
"Nah. Spontaneous combustion. Anyway, Joe had E.J. Dionne on the show and you should have seen the guy tying himself into knots defending Obama."
"E. J. Dionne? That's no surprise. He's been one of Barry's carnival barkers from the beginning."
"Yeah, but he really outdid himself this time. He compared the president to Kermit the Frog."
"Well, there's a grown-up analogy for you. Although, I dunno...he might be on to something. Obama is pretty slippery."
"No, no, he didn't mean it that way. Dionne placed the analogy in the context of Kermit's song, 'It Isn't Easy Being Green" - you know, the whole lonely-at-the-top-mistaken-through-no-fault-of-his-own vibe."
"Yuck! Listen, if I had an alimentary canal, you can bet I'd be gagging right about now."
"Oh, it gets worse. Dionne said that the political spectrum has shifted under Obama's feet, due to the propaganda of Republicans, unfairly making him look more left-wing than he really is."
"He said that? The political spectrum has shifted under Obama's feet? So, Obama's essentially just a freakin' earthquake victim? Come on. Dissing Israel, Fast and Furious, radicalizing the Department of Justice, ObamaCare, the Benghazi fiasco, using the IRS to target conservative groups, spying on reporters...Obama didn't have anything at all to do with any of it, right? Shit. Just. Happened. I mean, Barry's just an amiable do-gooder who likes to play a few thousand rounds of golf every year and ogle Beyonce's booty at those White House celebrity blow-outs. Is that what Dionne is saying? Man, and they call us tools."
"Brother, when it comes to being tools, we're not even in the same box with E.J. Dionne."