Thursday, September 12, 2013

Stupid birds

They obviously deserve to die. Because, green energy.


SwampWoman said...

But if it were a nonendangered bird, say a seagull, that was coated in oil from a leaking gulf well, that is something ENTIRELY different and enough to shut down energy production and destroy thousands of jobs.

JeffS said...

Trust me, this ain't the only example of goobermint stupidity when it comes to Protecting The Birds™.

How so, you ask? Behold:

Several years ago, I was involved in the telecommunications side of the agency that gives me money. During this stint, I was tasked to review an application to lease government property for the installation of a standard telecommunications tower. There were other towers on this site, and this new application did not demonstrate that any major problems would occur if approved.

So I signed off on it, recommending approval, and passed it along.

A few days later, I was accosted (yes, that's the right word) by another employee that I did not know (and he was an employee -- I checked). Apparently this employee had traveled to the main office in order to accost me.

He questioned my recommending approval of that application. His reasoning? The birds would run into it, and be hurt.

He was dead serious. "The birds will run into the tower, and be injured!" he claimed. This person went on for several minutes like that. Since I was sitting in my cubicle, and he blocked my exit, flight was not an option.

I was flabbergasted, this being my first professional contact with a fanatical envirotard; at the time, I didn't think they were eligible for employment (silly me!). I realized that the enemy had infiltrated our perimeter.

So I questioned his reasoning, pointing out that there were other towers in the area, and the need for a new tower was genuine. No dice, he wasn't convinced.

I then pointed out that are many obstacles in the path of birds: buildings, telephone poles, etc. Nope, wasn't buying it.

"OK," I said, "What about trees? God knows there are plenty of trees around that site. How do you explain trees? I know birds run into those, I've seen them."

(The site in question was in a remote area, near national forest.)

His response? "Well, trees are natural!"

I clamped my teeth together, hard, so that I wouldn't look stupid as well, should my jaw fall on my lap. I thought about that cretinous response for 10 seconds, and said:

"Well, then, we can mitigate for the tower construction, by painting it brown. That way, the birds will think the tower is a tree, and not care if they hit it."

The creature stomped off, and we never spoke again.

Anonymous said...

Deborah .... They worry about people possessing feathers they've found, or of birds that died naturally. Fish and Game confiscated a little boy's box of feathers he found that included Blue Jay, Crow, etc. They're all migratory because they don't stay in one place.

Turbines do kill. Why the birds don't stay clear is unknown. Whales navigate around platforms but get run over by cargo ships, so the routes were changed. The turbines aren't all that effective anyway. More trouble than they're worth.

Anonymous said...

If they would only design those windmills to kill Canada geese everyone would be happy. There, I said it. I'm glad I said it.

rinardman said...

If the birds were dying because of fossil fuel power plants, would their unconcern for the birds be the same?

And Jeff, the term "blockhead" was made for people like that guy. I would have said "Don't worry about the birds, they're smarter than you are."

RebeccaH said...

Well, those birds were going to die anyway because, global warming, right?

Minicapt said...

You can't paint a tower brown so that birds will think it's a tree; you have to add fake green foliage.


kc said...

There is a cell tower on US17, near here, that is tarted up to look like a pine tree. Bird-safe, obviously.