I have? Well, have I mentioned it lately?
Yesterday, Mrs. Paco and I were driving down to Green Top sporting goods store in Ashland - to buy some, you know, long underwear and feet warmers - and traffic came to a complete halt near the Quantico exit. Some genius on a huge backhoe-type thing, who had been working on the HOV expansion project, managed to break a power line, which was hanging down onto the highway. All southbound traffic was stopped for about an hour and a half. After a while, I got out of the car and walked up to the scene of the downed wire, and found some firemen and a VDOT employee standing around looking at the broken line, but nobody was actually doing anything. I was told that they had called Dominion Power to find out if the wire was live, and they were still waiting for a return call. I suggested that the driver of the back-hoe should be compelled to touch the wire, which would instantly settle the issue and speed things along. The idea met with strong approval, but, alas, the back-hoe operator had melted into the crowd, possibly donning a false beard and dark glasses, to avoid the wrath of the mob.
Fortunately, for those who were in need, there were abundant woods where one could relieve oneself in privacy. People were strolling about, some with dogs, others with small children, and eventually the whole episode took on the character of a day at the park. It was a lovely morning, with lots of sunshine and a cool breeze, and I was fortified with plenty of smokes, so, all in all, it could have been a lot worse. And a guy from Dominion Power finally showed up, discovered that the wire wasn't live, and then we all took off (rather in the manner of the great 1893 Land Run in the Cherokee Strip). Somewhat redeeming the experience, Green Top still had the desired long johns and feet warmers in stock when we arrived, and the background check only took 15 minutes.
I still hate I-95, though.