Meh, you figure it out. Anti-Semitic Elmo is sentenced to a year in jail for trying to extort $2 million from the Girl Scouts.
(I dunno. Should the title of the post have read "Post-America America"?)
"There are countless horrible things happening all over the world and horrible people prospering, but we must never allow them to disturb our equanimity or deflect us from our sacred duty to sabotage and annoy them whenever possible." -Auberon Waugh