Woe and damnation! It appears that the estimable Mr. Bingley will never be able to run for President of the United States.
What am I to do now with all of the money I have raised for the Fedora Party, which was to serve as the nationwide Bingley political machine? I suppose I could repurpose the funds to support the creation of a strategic wine reserve, or purchase a thousand acres of prime tobacco farmland located within the territory of our new friend to the south, Cuba (with the aim of converting it to rainforest, of course – er, except for a hundred acres or so that might conceivably be set aside for a small profit-making venture – strictly to cover the costs of establishing a viable rainforest, you understand – manufacturing a select line of high quality cigars. Paco Estupendos has a nice ring to it).
Perhaps I’d better check the funds balance before getting too far ahead of myself. Let’s see…one, two…four…four-fifty…five…five-and-a-quarter…Hmmm. Anybody want to split a Chick-Fil-A sandwich with me?