Time, ladies and gentlemen.
A very clever poem.
The secret ingredients for a long life: cigarettes, bacon and booze (and possibly Dr. Pepper).
Selling Cornwall (click to enlarge)...
It lifts! It shapes! It makes you bullet proof!
Bigfoot sighting in North Carolina (Never mind. A close examination of the film indicates that it's just Elderly Relative B on his way to beat somebody's ass).