Thursday, November 19, 2015

Special guest post by Björn Lyvall

In response to the post entitled “The Swedes have lost their minds”, and to a comment at that post by Bruce, the Swedish Ambassador to the United States, via a telephone message, provided a statement, which I have transcribed below:
Dis here is Björn Lyvall, Svedish Ambassador to de Yew Ess.

By yimminy, who dew yew fellers t’ink yew are, makin’ de slander against my countrymen (an’ against my contryvimmen and, er, dee transyenders and all dem udders in betveen)! Vee ain’t no more galen in de hjära dann yew Americans (an’ iff yew really vant to talk crazy, I could go on about dem “blooks” from “dawn oonder” fer hours!) By gawly, yew better be glad vee done gib up all dat Vikin’ shit a long time back, yessirree, uddervise I vould be over dere at de Paco Command Center a’burnin’ and a’pillagin’ to beat de band, by t’under, yah, I vould! Now, yew fellers cut it out, yew hear? I got bigger problems on my hands an’ don’t haff time fer dis here libel talk. I know vhat: Paco, vy don’t yew stick to writin’ about how de second amen’ment is de best t’ing since sliced kringler; and dat udder guy, dat dere “blook” from Australia, vy don’t he yust go shake some platypurses out ov dem yewcalyptus trees?
Well…um…I guess he sure told us.


JeffS said...

If Björn wants to send (bikini clad and shapely female) Vikings, I'm sure that we can negotiate an, ummmmm, cease fire. Of sorts.

bruce said...

Had a few encounters with Swedes which prompted that, but always willing to make exceptions. Also watched too many Ingmar Bergman films.

bruce said...

'dem “blooks” from “dawn oonder” '


'galen in de hjära' - wow must remember that. loco en el corazón?

I realise I completely ignored Cromwell's Glorious Revolution in my attempted explanation and the Swedes are all Lutherans. I'll have to read up more on this.

Mikael said...

Bruce: If you are to watch Ingmar Bergman films, always be sure sure to bring a therapist to watch it with you, and stock up on them Prozac's. Also, be sure there are no sharp objects in your vicinity. Because sooner or later you will be tempted to slit your wrist.

Just a friendly advice.

bruce said...

It was 40 years ago Mikael. We watched them all many times in the art cinema, totally brainwashed. You know who else used to watch with us? Mel Gibson, he is my age and I saw him around a lot, also he was Hamlet on stage. Now there's a depressing story.

Mike_W said...

This guy is also a Swede.
He examines the modern European, metrosexual, multicultural lifestyle through the prism of the computer game/life simulation Sims 3.
Quite funny if you view it as a critique.
Can be a bit vulgar.