We have all witnessed the revolting spectacle of Obama exhorting the police forces of our nation to confess to the vast, lingering racism with which he believes they are afflicted . How gratifying it would be if, say, the National Association of Chiefs of Police, or the National Sheriffs’ Association were to respond somewhat in the style of the Zaporozhian Cossacks, who replied to the Ottoman Sultan’s demand for their submission with a letter that is a classic of ribald defiance.
President Jughead Mulligan’s ears would burn for the rest of his term of office. The words would buzz in his meatus acusticus externus like a continuous loop of Bronx cheers. Perhaps even the extravagant amour propre to which he is prone would be perforated like a papier-mâché unicorn in a hail storm.
Yes, yes, I know. Nothing like this will ever happen. Our senior cops are ladies and gentlemen. Besides which, Barry’s ego would undoubtedly compel him to interpret a collective expression of disdain for his ignorance and hubris as confirmation of his original belief; the man is, after all, immune to genuine introspection, impervious to facts, completely unteachable. But imaginary justice, especially of the comical kind, is all the comeuppance this inflated pipsqueak is ever likely to encounter in this life, so, pardon me if I occasionally daydream.