So I ask again: Could I have made a difference in the last election? Some people think I’m one of the few people who actually could have.Yeah, but they're not "your" people, Bruce. They're genuine blue-collar folk, whereas you, with your $20 million mansion and all the other perks that come from being a successful recording artist, haven't been blue-collar for decades. Trump isn't blue-collar either, but he seems to genuinely feel their pain, whereas they were just fodder for your dreary lyrics.
It’s been suggested that in the weeks and months leading up to the election, I should have followed Trump around from rally to rally, especially in September and October when he was hitting the Rust Belt states hard. After all, those are supposed to be “my” people, too.
This is my favorite part:
Now, just because you could have shot Hitler, that doesn’t mean you are guilty because you didn’t, right? I mean, probably 5 million Germans could have killed Hitler at one point, but we can’t condemn every one of them, right?I dunno. Maybe it's a simile. Or hyperbole. I'm putting my money on It's Just Bruce Springsteen Jerking Off In Front of a Giant Mental Poster of Himself (No offense, dude. That's just an analogy. Or maybe a metaphor).
And by the way, I’m not suggesting we kill anyone! This is just a comparison—an analogy. Or is it a metaphor?
If there's a prize for the Most Nauseating Example of Pretentious Narcissism Published in a Newspaper or Magazine, you ought to win in a walk.
And perhaps this is heretical - certainly it is to your fans - but I always thought your voice positively sucked. The slight quaver that is probably intended to represent passion always struck me as stemming from a cluster of nodules on your larynx, and the raspiness that you no doubt believe conveys an authentic workin' man vibe sounds like the morning after a long night power-sucking smoke from bad weed through a clogged kick hole on a bong.