Good thing she didn't just toss them in the dumpster: "New librarian finds live Civil War-era shells in her office" (H/T: Mrs. Paco)
If you're a fugitive, here's a tip: if you find yourself stranded along the road, don't flag down a deputy sheriff (also courtesy of Mrs. Paco).
Trimming the hedge, expert level:
Decisions, decisions (from Powerline's "The Week in Pictures"):
So, two "tough" guys walk into a bar in Alaska...
Kid must have pretty strict parents: "Boy runs off to Switzerland over 'bad' mark on his school report".
But how?...Never mind. Spray tan fail: