As
a new, young MD doing his residency in OB,
I was quite embarrassed
when performing female pelvic exams.
To cover my embarrassment I
had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing, further embarrassing me.
I
looked up from my work and sheepishly said . . ..
' I'm sorry. Was
I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . ..
'
No doctor but the song you were whistling was,
' I wish I was an
Oscar Meyer Wiener.'
During
a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he
informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his
medications.
'Which one?’ I asked.
'The patch.'
'The Nurse
told me to put on a new one every six hours
and now I'm running
out of places to put it!'
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes,
the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions
include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
"Ominous Sign For Joe: Presidential Restroom Replaced With Female Restroom".
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you? (H/T: David Thompson)
Is that the result you fellas were looking for? (H/T: Ditto)
From Powerline's ""The Week in Pictures".
4 comments:
Men all around the world are watching this and thinking, "Wow, that was a bad idea. Yes, I would have done it too."
Yep. That's a fact!
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
[face palm]
My mother-in-law, in the throes of creeping dementia, actually did that with medicated patches. She'd been claiming to be dizzy all the time, and when I questioned her, I discovered she'd been putting patch after patch on without removing any.
The novel and film Thank You For Smoking has the protagonist, a senior lobbyist for the tobacco industry, kidnapped and plastered with nicotine patches, and then left naked on the lap of Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial.
When he comes to in the hospital afterward, the doctor tells him that he only survived because he was such a heavy smoker and had built up a tolerance, but since he'd been so sensitized to nicotine, he could never smoke again without risking heart attack.
BTW, the film, starring Aaron Eckhart, is definitely worth watching.
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