Saturday, December 5, 2009

More Global Warming Devastation at the Paco Command Center

A couple of weeks ago, the flora made a defiant last stand.

These mums, for example...



And this rose...



All was blissful...



But Al Gore, the living embodiment of Skadi, the Norse goddess of winter (or maybe it's snowshoes), infuriated by the threat of climategate, has brought a blizzard to Occupied Northern Virginia...



Pretty, but hard to get around in, particularly for Mrs. Paco. She's been suffering for nearly a month from pain in her feet, which made her nearly immobile. After all that time - including two blood tests, an x-ray, an early misdiagnosis of gout, and a doctor with an exceptionally bad bedside manner - an MRI finally proved that both ankles have stress fractures. Only the pleas of Mrs. Paco prevented me from calling up the physician and saying, "Nice diagnostic work, genius!"

Many of the household chores have now settled onto the shoulders of yours truly, which means that there may be a hiatus in blogging due to food poisoning or the necessity of vacuuming the house (in which, I am pleased to say, my level of efficiency is much higher than that of the missus. It never takes me longer than 10 minutes to do the whole house, whereas it usually takes Mrs. Paco a good 30 to 45. Of course, in fairness to her, I have to admit that I take certain shortcuts; for example, what's the point of vacuuming under furniture? Zealotry, I call it).

Meanwhile, I shall have to find my bride a wheelchair. I thought about going "old school"...



But Mrs. Paco rejected the Queen Victoria look out of hand. So, maybe something sporty and hi-tech would be better...



Hmm. Better make sure my collision insurance is paid up.

Elsewhere, on this snowed-in Saturday, American Power has some good pics from a Tea Party Protest, Richard McEnroe cuts through the crap on the disturbing world of Safe Schools Gay Porn Czar Kevin Jennings, and Iowahawk has a vision of the President firing up the troops.

Of course, I have my own view of the commander in chief...

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

WOW Stress factures! All the best to you Mrs. Paco.

Don't worry dear lady, when you heal, everything Mr. Paco didn't do, can be easily rectified by chasing him around the house using the aforementioned vacuum.

P.S. Please don't use the vacuum made by Paco World Wide Enterprises, Vacuum Cleaner Divison. They are as good as the bridges made by Paco World Wide Eneterprises, Bridge Divison...lol.

Paco said...

Are you kiddin'? The Paco Appliances SuckMaster III is the industry standard. When it comes to vacuum cleaners, nobody sucks like Paco Enterprises!

RebeccaH said...

All my sympathies to Mrs. Paco for the stress fractures. Having suffered a (non-stress, inexplicable) fracture in my left foot (as my feet gradually go flat with old age), I can feel her pain. Fortunately, they are survivable, and you, eventually, can walk again.

As for the Paco Vacuums... why don't they pick up dust bunnies? I'm being overwhelmed here!

JeffS said...

That should be "here's something suitable". Sheesh!

Anonymous said...

With the JeffS handy dandy attachment...What dust bunnies, Lady R? ;)



Mrs. Paco's Christmas gift to Mr. Paco arrived early. Note attached says...Honey, you've been so wonderful, I thought I'd get you something you've always wanted.

Paco said...

Thanks for the advice on wheels chairs.

El C: Christmas gift? If only!

Paco said...

Jeff: I'd like to mount on of those machine guns on the hood of my Suburban (if I miss one more green light because some inconsiderate slob in front of me is talking on the cell phone and not paying attention to the traffic signals...)

missred said...

at least the diagnosis has finally been made and mrs paco can now take care of her precious feet.
as far as the paco enterprises suckmaster.. i want one.
and damn, how did you get more snow than me??

Paco said...

I don't know, Miss Red, but if you want some, you can come and get all you want!

missred said...

pass.. it was nasty enough up here in the hinterlands. ;)

kc said...

Mrs. Paco needs comfort. Get her one of the recliners that drunk guy was 'driving' when he got a DUI. Maybe you can fit it with snow chains?

If you don't mind me asking - though if you do, it just means you won't answer, eh - how did Your Lovely Bride injure BOTH her feet? I've been a bit sensitive there myself, lately...

Paco said...

KC: She has delicate bones, resulting from osteopenia (thinning of the bone mass) - usually a harbinger of osteoporosis. She doesn't recall anything specific that may have caused the fractures, which , apparently, is not unusual with people who have this condition. Even a slight twist or jar can do it.

blogstrop said...

Love the icy photo, Paco. My compliments to the Missus and best wishes for her recuperation. Now, about that other photo - you know - where she had to jump off the snow-covered roof for dramatic effect ...

Anonymous said...

This is kind of eery; because I've had problems with my feet this last week, as well as problems with vacuuming ... well, since forever.
The doctor told me that the problems with my feet were caused by blisters(entirely located on my second toes AND going almost to the bone, thank you very much)due to being a fat slob.
I said that I wanted a second opinion and he said I was also ugly.
I smell a conspiracy.

Mike_W

carpefraise said...

Oooh, I feel for Madame Paco...
hope she recovers, despite the extreme lack of diagnosis by the Big Dr.

Boy on a bike said...

Yes, having to vacuum under things definitely counts as being a neat-freak.

I got told off last week for not doing the picture rails.

"The what?" only earned me a whack over the head.

Paco said...

Mike W: Under ObamaCare, we won't have to worry about this kind of thing; we'll just get shipped off to the Death Panels, and that will be the end of it.

B on a B: Sorry, mate, but I'm in the dark; just what are picture rails?

Anonymous said...

Hoping Mrs. Paco gets well soon, Paco.

Mike_W

SwampWoman said...

Oh, snap. I don't know what picture rails are either, so I doubt I've been vacuuming them.

SwampWoman said...

Hope Miz Paco's delicate little feet heal soon; just having heel spurs/plantar fasciitis is tremendously painful. I'd hate to have to deal with stress fractures.

JeffS said...

Yes, BOAB, what are picture rails? If I find that I have any, out they go!

Paco, perhaps if you rub Mrs. Paco's feet a couple of times a day, vacuuming under the furniture might not be such a issue?

Paco said...

I thought dust counted as extra insulation.

JeffS said...

I've tried that argument, Paco, to no avail. I've even shown my calculations demonstrating the efficiency of dirt and dust as insulators. But some people just can't be satisfied.

Paco said...

Jeff: Ah, dust skeptics, eh?

JeffS said...

Yeah, and they're heretics, one and all!

"Shut up, he explained"

;-p

kc said...

Thanks, Paco - got the same condition myself, that's why I asked. Extra calcium (I use chewables so they don't destroy my sensitive tummy) and the once-a-week generic stuff for 10 years now. So far, so good. Skinny white women, is what my doc said, are most susceptible. Yippee.

Minicapt said...

For those hard-to-get areas: http://www.automotto.org/entry/in-russia-jet-engines-go-to-work-as-snow-blowers/

Cheers

Irobot said...

The photos of Château Paco are always magnificent. Although I am sure that they are really from the Paco Industries Postcard series.

Give Mrs Paco our best wishes for a speedy recovery. My better half has suggested that Mrs Paco may not want to rush back to domestic duties too soon though and she should be sure that she has fully recovered.

Mr. Bingley said...

From our mole in the Paco organization...

Paco said...

Splendid, Bigley, old top! Worthy of its own post!

Thanks Irobot and everyone for your warm wishes.

Paco said...

"Bingley", rather.

Mr. Bingley said...

hehehe, I thought you'd appreciate the picture!

Andrea said...

I loved the snow! (My car maybe not so much.)

Speaking of wheelchairs, my friend and I went to an antique shop in Verona yesterday and saw one almost that old. I'll bet you could get it for a song. ;)