Sunday, March 21, 2010

Celebrating ObamaCare

The Oval Office. President Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid have gathered for an intimate celebration of their hard-fought victory.

Obama [Rubbing his hands together vigorously]: Finally! The health care bill has been passed and my legacy is secure. And I want to thank both of you for your invaluable assistance. Nancy, I’ll be reaching out to you for help in the House on several other important initiatives, soon.

Nancy: I’ll be ready, Mr. President.

Obama: And Harry…er…enjoy your retirement.

Reid [Looking at the president with that expression of a befuddled goat for which is he is so well known]: Why, what do you mean, Mr. President? You assured me that, if I supported the health care legislation, you’d see to it that I was taken care of if I lose my reelection bid.

Obama: Oh, of course, of course. Heh. Just kidding! I’m going to make a note right now to check on it [Obama jots down a note on a piece of paper: “Hillary: Any vacancies in our embassy in Chad?”] Now, I think this occasion calls for something special. Ah, and here it is! Set it down on my desk, Gus.

The president’s gentleman’s personal gentleman - Gustave Napoleon Toussaint d’Orleans, late of the domestic staff of Baby Doc Duvalier (former President-for-life of Haiti and now occasional Parisian taxi-cab driver) - enters bearing a silver tray, on which is situated a bottle of champagne, a small, non-descript bottle containing a dark, purplish liquid, and three glasses.

Obama: Thank you, Gus. Here, let me pour us some champagne, Nancy… And Harry, I didn’t forget you. Here’s your prune juice…Now, a toast! Gus, flip the teleprompter on, will you? All right…On this momentous occasion, when all Americans can now look forward to affordable health care coverage…….

Fifteen minutes later

….and only the first step…[a distant rumble in the street is heard]…toward a single-payer system…[the rumble gets louder]…TOWARD A SINGLE-PAYER SYSTEM….[the rumbling is now extremely loud]…Dammit, Gus, look out the window and see what that noise is!

Gus looks out of the window and slowly crosses himself

Obama: Well, what’s causing all that noise? Speak up, man!

Gus: Tumbrils, monsieur le President.


bruce said...

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way."


JeffS said...

Tumbrils, a fine old custom which is long past overdue to revive!

TW: copingit. Oh, we will. We will.

cac said...


All this is a bit mystifying to us down under. I thought Obamacare was dead, buried and with a stake through its heart and then it passes the House. 2 questions:
1) can you recommend some analysis of how this all happened and
2) what happens when it gets to the Senate?


cac said...

On second thoughts, delete question 2 as I gather it's already been through the Senate and doesn't need to go there again. But question 1 remains.

Paco said...

cac: The details have most people here mystified and are largely the result of arcane rules in both the House and the Senate.

ObamaCare did, indeed, appear to be dead, but the short answer is that Pelosi and co. finally bribed enough congressmen in her own party to vote "yea", so that the Democrats ultimately achieved critical mass; however, whatever they got in return for their affirmative votes on this bill is not likely to help them come November. That, to me, is what's so utterly mystifying. These people - including so-called moderates from "red" states - fell on their swords for this legislation. Many, perhaps most, will probably be turned out in November.

Unfortunately, a search did not turn up anything that provides a reasonably clear explanation of the nuts and bolts of the bill's passage. Can anyone recommend a site that answers cac's question?

smitty1e said...

I heard Dingy Harry got Bulungi.

Paco said...

Smitty: Priceless!

Michael Lonie said...

Les Democrats aristos aux lanternes!

Now if we could just use the Tardis to bring us a guillotine. But Wronwright won't tell us where he left the keys.

bingbing said...

Unfortunately, a search did not turn up anything that provides a reasonably clear explanation of the nuts and bolts of the bill's passage.

And that's the thing, isn't it?

No-one knows what the fuck this bill is about except that if the Senate passes it (do they need to?), the State will control a further 16.6% of the US economy.

Paco said...

bingbing: You said it!

Bob Belvedere said...

Quoted from and Linked to at:
DEFCON 1: 'What Comes Next? We Fight.'
It's Time To ROC 'N' ROLL:
Restore Our Constitution & Restore Our Lost Liberties


Michael Lonie said...

It already passed the Senate. The bill is labeled HR 3590 but that is because when that bill came to the Seante that body removed all the wording of the original and replaced it, by an amendment, with the wording of the Senate "health care reform" bill. The reason for this is that the "health care reform" bill raises taxes and thus must by the Constitution, originate in the House of Representatives. Raising taxes means it is a revenue bill and revenue bill must originate in the House, not the Senate.

So 1. this bill raising taxes originated in the House (except none of the original House bill is left) and 2. the House bill and the Senate bill both have exactly the same language so it can go to the President's desk for signing without the Senate doing anything further.

Now the "Reconciliation bill" that passed the House by 220 votes to 212 does have to go to the Senate. What it does is amend the first bill to remove from it things various of the Democrats in the House objected to. The Senate must vote on them, but how many will be willing to remove from the final law those items that the Senators demanded but the House Dems object to is anybody's guess. Plus the GOP has all kinds of procedural objections to the provisions of the reconciliation bill. So passage is not guaranteed, but if the Senate does not pass it many House Dems will feel betrayed, since their assent was bought with the promise that their objections would be satisfied by the reconciliation bill.

If all that seems remarkably corrupt, sleazy, and even stupid (on the part of the Dem legislators relying on the Senate for changes or falling on their swords by ignoring the fury of the people over this slimy bill) that's because it is corrupt, sleazy, and stupid. Such is the Democratic Party.

Paco said...

Thanks, Michael. That's why, here at Paco Enterprises, I call you the "house brain".