Friday, December 10, 2010

Holiday gift ideas for leftists!

Good news, lefties! Paco Enterprises has no politics where a buck is concerned, so have a look at these fine products for the holidays.

Paco Publishing
You know that you could out-argue conservatives by resorting to the Marxist dialectic - if you could just manage to stop falling asleep over the Master’s dreary prose long enough to figure out what he’s talking about.

Paco Enterprises’ publishing arm is here to help you, comrades! Catch the latest trends in commie news, gossip and agitprop, all nestled among the finest specimens of feminine pulchritude, with these magazines. Guaranteed to keep your attention from wandering! Click on photos to enlarge.

Red China, Ltd

As a leftist, you recognize the importance of turning every thing you do into a symbol of “The Cause”. Your next afternoon tea should be no different. Transform those informal parlor-revolutionary chats into a monument to your undying hatred of the Tea Party movement with the Hitler Teapot. Made of highest quality china by skilled German craftsmen in a modern factory located in the suburbs of Buenos Aires, this item will always be there to remind you and your friends of the Main Enemy, as well as to massage your ego by assuring you of your subtle cleverness.

Krazy Karl’s Anti-Capitalist Roaders

Ever sit in traffic, grinding your teeth at the sight of all those fancy, bourgeois automobiles, wishing that you could trade in your own Mercedes or BMW for something more lumpen? Boy, has Krazy Karl got a deal for you! In an old warehouse outside of Novosibirsk, we recently discovered a limited quantity of used 1958 Russian ZAZ automobiles. Declare your allegiance to communism, as those Nissans and Hondas go whizzing past you on the highway, while sitting behind the wheel of one of these babies. Order now and get 12 months of free towing service!

So, workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your change, with Paco Enterprises' low, low prices. 'Tis the season to purge your wallets of that bourgeois loot and start providing for each according to his need. If you place your order before noon Monday, we guarantee delivery no later than December 18 (Stalin's birthday!) Happy holidays!


Michael Lonie said...

No wonder J.P. is so filthy rich. Brilliant!

JeffS said...

I think that J.P. will be swapping out those $100 bills for $1000 bills.

What? Those aren't printed any more? I think J.P. can fix that!

Robert of Ottawa said...

Love the holiday gifts - can someone gift me the Vinceremos babe?

Now, shocking press conference where POTUS abdicates:


RebeccaH said...

Say, do you think J. Packington could have a word with Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, et al, to set them straight on this tax thing? They certainly need the Paco slap upside the head.

Merilyn said...

Very, very good Paco. [Now if only I could stop laughing, getting funny looks from husband and dog].
Robert if that is the same as the one on Tizona, have a look at Obama's eyes, don't think he is really all that keen on Bill Clinton.

Yojimbo said...

No doubt Paco Enterprises will be rolling out a whole line of statist parlor games to replace the more conventional and capitalist ones. Games like "Monopoly" could be changed or replaced with titles such as Agency, Federal Register or Regulatory Approval. Fun for the whole domestic unit.

Yojimbo said...

Ooops! Forgot "Czar". How stupid of me.

Paco said...

YoJ: "TSA Patdown! - the board game for adults".

Minicapt said...

You'll have to cut bingbing in on any board games.


Anonymous said...

As a card carrying Pinko/commie socialist, I have to tell you I think your X-mas suggestions for socialists still feeling guilty about participating in the consumer-driven, superstition loaded festival of X-mas absolutely brilliant. I especially love the Hitler Tea Pot and I never, ever thought of actually owning a former Soviet-made auto, but efficiency and logic be damned! I'm all in! Now, who will pay my freight for that car? For the revolution? .... anyone?