Thursday, December 1, 2011

Miss me yet?

“So, where is this guy?” you were all, no doubt, asking yourselves. “Has he absconded to Brazil with his presidential campaign fund? Did he fall into an open manhole while chasing his hat on a windy day? (And did he hit his head, and, if so, is he wandering around the sewers thinking that he’s the Phantom of the Opera, or perhaps James Carville?) Surely he didn’t light up a cigarette while putting gas in his car - again.”

No, nothing so dramatic. My home computer picked up a particularly nasty virus recently and we wound up having IT technicians remotely access the thing and run what turned out to be more than 24 hours of diagnostics and virus-removal. Then, we had to take the computer down to the store to get the cd drivers fixed (they would go wonky right after I got my Freddie Slack cd in the mail!) And the final result was that the IT guys had to reinstall the operating system after all. As a precaution against future fiascos of this sort, Mrs. Paco has ordered a back-up computer: a Mac Book Pro. That’s right: I’m going take a bite of the Apple!

Unfortunately, I can’t access blogger from work, so I was unable to put up a message. I see, however, that you all continued to cavort and gambol and frolic in the comments, which is precisely what I hoped you would do.

Just remember, though: you break it, you bought it.

Here are a couple of posts that I wrote up in Word and emailed to myself, but didn’t get up before my computer collapsed. A bit stale, now, but still…

The virtue of self-reliance

It is the antithesis to the claims made by our proliferating statists that, without government assistance, we are essentially a nation of 307,000,000 toddlers. Here’s a prime example of what citizen volunteers can accomplish on their own.

Our long, national nightmare is over

Well, one of them, anyway. Barney Frank is retiring.

He’ll probably be replaced by someone equally liberal – although possibly not, since the new district in which Frank would have had to run includes a couple of towns that are more conservative than his historical base. In any event, the Democrats would have to really exert themselves in order to find somebody as thoroughly obnoxious. He is one of the most revolting liberal hacks to ever wash up on the banks of the Potomac, morally reprehensible in both his private and public life, a particularly repellant example of the ongoing political scourge that Massachusetts is to the nation.

Update: By the way, the corruption will continue, unabated.

I move that we name a federal prison after Eric Holder

And then make him an inmate. It would be karma – and comedy – gold.


El Cid said...

So umm, we can call off the dogs, so to speak..;-)


A very small one.

Col. Milquetoast said...

I knew it! I knew Paco wouldn't be type to get injured in a tofu explosion.

Good choice on the MacBook. I hope you don't jinx the no viruses on macs thing.

You might want to investigate whether your computer problems were part of a hostile takeover bid by wronwright. He's always seemed a bit shifty.

Yojimbo said...

Well, thank goodness that everything is ok with the family. That is the important thing.

Paco said...

El C: Yes, by all means, call off the dogs. Especially if they're armed.

Colonel: The Mac arrived today. We haven't received the MS Office software, yet, so I'm using the old Dell right now; however, I was playing with the Mac awhile ago, and I like it.

YoJ: Family all present and accounted for. Thanks.

JeffS said...

There was a rumor that Mabel had staged a coup, and put you in the doghouse, Paco.

Anonymous said...

Deborah Leigh said... Sure...right...nasty bug. Got it. (wink, wink, nod, she reaches for the Official VRWC Secret Decoder Book and ring. (Note book and ring sold separately).

rinardman said...

I see, however, that you all continued to cavort and gambol and frolic in the comments, which is precisely what I hoped you would do.

Hey, you know us, we're not ones to waste a little free bandwidth.
Almost like the old days when TimB would wander off, and leave the premises unguarded.

rinardman said...

Our long, national nightmare is over

Well, one is over. Hopefully the bigger nightmare will end in January of 2013.

JeffS said...

Speaking of nightmares, the toy makers that offer this just before Christmas must really hate parents.

Anonymous said...

Very relieved, Paco.

WV: popazati - I dunno what it is, but it SOUNDS fun!

Paco said...

PC: Popazati? Isn't that the Aztec god of pop corn?

Paco said...

Jeff: The electric kazoo is the latest in Paco Enterprises' line of fine musical products. We expect it to do even better than the gas-powered trombone.

Paco said...

The gas-powered trombone not to be confused, of course, with our novelty item, the flatulet.

Michael Lonie said...

Paco, I believe the alternative name for that instrument is the Windbreaker. As Peter Schikele said, the name is mysterious, since it doesn't look like any kind of a jacket at all.

Just to make sure we don't get too giddy with relief, the Dems have moved up to be the ranking member of the committee Barney Frank was on: Maxine Waters.

RebeccaH said...

Oh, thank God. It was exhausting, trying to monitor the liquor cabinet AND the library shelves, to make sure nobody got off with unaccounted items that would, undoubtedly, be returned either empty, or tattered.

I assure you, the graffiti on Mabel will wear off eventually (I told them to use washable markers, but does anybody ever listen to me?). As fpr nicks or water rings on the furniture, are you sure those weren't there before?

bruce said...

My Canadian friends and me had a great time at the Rendezvous.

Pity we sold all our Possum furs before you returned.

cac said...

One doesn't like to boast but if I might draw your attention to:

"cac said...
I'm assuming that Paco has started to believe his own propaganda and has purchased stuff from the Performance Assured Computer Organisation with predictable results. Doubtless normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

December 1, 2011 5:36 AM"

Now if only I could use these psychic powers for something useful like forecasting tomorrow's lotto numbers.

Boy on a bike said...

Did Grandpa Paco visit Sydney once?

missred said...

ha! i was right - it was the computer! glad to have you back old bean.

Paco said...

cac: Paco tech engineers are working around the clock to get the bugs out of the debugging software.

Rebecca: Don't worry about Mabel. We frequently paint advertisements on her coat.

B on a B: That's the look, alright! Hope it comes back.

Paco said...

Miss Red: You did, indeed, nail it.

lavrenti lenin said...

I did find this one interesting old book in the library...

Can you tell me the meaning of "That is not dead, which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death may die."


"Ia! Ia! Yog-Sothoth! Cthulhu ftaghn!"

Just curious, cuz the cat won't come out from behind the fridge now...

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