A commenter solves the birth riddle

From Deadman, in the comments section of the previous post:

I reckon I’ve now solved the problem of Obama’s birthplace—and I retract my original theory that the Liar in Chief was assembled in a Genevese laboratory.

It is an inescapable, essential feature of modern, enlightened, progressive thinking that adherents must be able to hold two completely contradictory beliefs at the same time: those who oppose killing endangered birds, for instance, simultaneously support costly giant whirligigs which are extremely effective bird killers (though ineffective suppliers of electricity); rich rock-stars and actors rush to tax-havens whilst simultaneously advocating that wealthy people must pay more tax; those who praise tolerance demonise those who disagree with them; supporters of “clean energy” condemn open-cut mines for coal in the developed world but condone devastating, polluted fields for rare earths in China and the like; those who claim to love humanity hate people and say you can’t base arguments on a fallacious consensus of views except when that supposed consensus comes from purported climatologists; etc.

Pres. Obama is the very epitome of seemingly paradoxical, progressive contradictions: he is both amazingly articulate and a stuttering mess, as dumb as a drunken wallaby and the smartest president in the history of the universe, a Christian and a Muslim, a native citizen and foreign-born; he’s a great thinker who can’t reason, a writer of two autobiographies who can neither write without catachreses nor remember his own story, a son of two people who met for the first time when he was four, an uxorious husband who forgets his wife, a democrat and autocrat; he is both an emperor with no clothes and an empty suit, a constitutional expert who hasn’t read the constitution; he is both quintessentially American and supranationally cosmopolitan; running to keep standing still, and playing golf to care for the economy; he is simultaneously always sitting and always lying.

Accordingly, I say, Obama was born in Hawaii and Kenya!