"There are countless horrible things happening all over the world and horrible people prospering, but we must never allow them to disturb our equanimity or deflect us from our sacred duty to sabotage and annoy them whenever possible." -Auberon Waugh
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Ten weird facts about Australia
I mean, of course, weird to us yanks. I'm sure my Australian readers are quite used to all this.
Even the species of beetle that is dying out because the males keep having sex with beer bottles.
Being city-raised I'd never heard of it till friends took me on a walk through a forest of them a few years ago. Actually a pretty tree, and the leaves look like huge velvet baby-rugs. So the ignorant are tempted to use them as toilet paper, with horrific results.
There is the type of story one hears in many places up and down this coast, of a 'US GI during the War' who shot himself after wiping with gympie-gympie, in so much pain.
I have a friendly magpie who drinks water in my yard. When the water's dry he knocks on the door with his beak for us to fill it up.
Postmen here ride small motor-bikes with small flags behind to ward off maggies, who hate 2-wheeled people most of all. Bigger threat to postmen than dogs here.
Grand statistical comparisons tell little due to so many extraneous factors - Australia is similar to Canada, but smaller in pop, and followed them in policy.
I've got a piece of Skylab somewhere in a box - a strip of asbestos insulation. It was found by a gold prospector. It's probably classed as hazardous waste these days.
It's a bit of a shock when a magpie beak collides with your helmet - they swoop at a good speed, and they don't hold back when having a go at you. I walked to school with a white ice cream container on my head with two eyes painted on the back of it - that generally kept them away.
Voting (or, at least, accepting ballot papers and placing them in ballot boxes) is compulsory for most Australians over 18, but I am prohibited; I may not vote in local or State or Federal elections on the grounds that my name is “frivolous” and “contrary to the public interest”.
Voting, magpies, minimum wage, and the dearth of Fosters are the only 4 I knew of.
Magpies were a bane of the school playground. There is a cure to swooping magpies, and it doesn't matter if you use .22 long rifle or .22 shorts.
Cyclists ususally put zip-ties all accross the top of their helmet, which presents magpies with a patch of punji-sticks, instead of a bare head!
Fosters? Good stuff, was drunk all accross the north. In the terminology of the north it was known as "blue beer". It was drunk in the south also.
But a beer brand is merely the label the brewery slaps on the bottle/can. When each brewery is churning out more than 40 types of beer, what is another one more or less?
We can thank Mr. John Elliot for the proliferation of Fosters overseas. He said he'd "Fosterise" the world. And he did! I've seen the stuff in kiosks in the USSR!
Minimum wage? Hmmm.... this keeps some people out of a job. There are some who (for whatever reason) just aren't worth the minimum, thus there is no choice but to fire people who, if they could be paid $5, would still have a job.
The minimum is usually more than that though. Where I live the legal minimum is about $20 in my industry. This is the minimum, I don't know of anybody who is paid as low as $20 per hour.
Well, beer bottles never have headaches.
ReplyDeleteRe the stinging leaf tree.
ReplyDeleteBeing city-raised I'd never heard of it till friends took me on a walk through a forest of them a few years ago. Actually a pretty tree, and the leaves look like huge velvet baby-rugs. So the ignorant are tempted to use them as toilet paper, with horrific results.
There is the type of story one hears in many places up and down this coast, of a 'US GI during the War' who shot himself after wiping with gympie-gympie, in so much pain.
Magpies don't attack you if you feed them.
ReplyDeleteI have a friendly magpie who drinks water in my yard. When the water's dry he knocks on the door with his beak for us to fill it up.
Postmen here ride small motor-bikes with small flags behind to ward off maggies, who hate 2-wheeled people most of all. Bigger threat to postmen than dogs here.
Grand statistical comparisons tell little due to so many extraneous factors - Australia is similar to Canada, but smaller in pop, and followed them in policy.
Next step the magpie will be sitting on your shoulders, ready to inflict pain whenever it wants food Bruce.
ReplyDeleteOne house near where I work has what I assume is a good magpie deterrence strategy - a bird bath with a lifelike magpie statue sitting in it.
Then again maybe it's a reverse scare-crow - a scare-human. Oooeer...
I've been swooped by magpies, but the only time that I was pecked, a willy wagtail was the culprit.
ReplyDeleteRight in the top of the head! He drew blood, too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I
ReplyDeleteCheers
I've got a piece of Skylab somewhere in a box - a strip of asbestos insulation. It was found by a gold prospector. It's probably classed as hazardous waste these days.
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit of a shock when a magpie beak collides with your helmet - they swoop at a good speed, and they don't hold back when having a go at you. I walked to school with a white ice cream container on my head with two eyes painted on the back of it - that generally kept them away.
That number 7 dog is the weirdest to me. (Seppo) It looks more than half human, which may not be weird to Aussies.
ReplyDeleteVoting (or, at least, accepting ballot papers and placing them in ballot boxes) is compulsory for most Australians over 18, but I am prohibited; I may not vote in local or State or Federal elections on the grounds that my name is “frivolous” and “contrary to the public interest”.
ReplyDeleteI walked to school with a white ice cream container on my head with two eyes painted on the back of it - that generally kept them away.
ReplyDeleteI say, that probably kept everything away!
Magpies are wonderful.
ReplyDeleteMagpie Singing - imitating Barking dog, Siren and other birds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-9dYCPRUuQ&feature=related
Mike_W
Voting, magpies, minimum wage, and the dearth of Fosters are the only 4 I knew of.
ReplyDeleteMagpies were a bane of the school playground. There is a cure to swooping magpies, and it doesn't matter if you use .22 long rifle or .22 shorts.
Cyclists ususally put zip-ties all accross the top of their helmet, which presents magpies with a patch of punji-sticks, instead of a bare head!
Fosters? Good stuff, was drunk all accross the north. In the terminology of the north it was known as "blue beer". It was drunk in the south also.
But a beer brand is merely the label the brewery slaps on the bottle/can. When each brewery is churning out more than 40 types of beer, what is another one more or less?
We can thank Mr. John Elliot for the proliferation of Fosters overseas. He said he'd "Fosterise" the world. And he did! I've seen the stuff in kiosks in the USSR!
Minimum wage? Hmmm.... this keeps some people out of a job. There are some who (for whatever reason) just aren't worth the minimum, thus there is no choice but to fire people who, if they could be paid $5, would still have a job.
The minimum is usually more than that though. Where I live the legal minimum is about $20 in my industry. This is the minimum, I don't know of anybody who is paid as low as $20 per hour.