Monday, June 16, 2008


Remember - Before making an important decision, or taking critical action, ask yourself: What Would Bob Do?

Senator Obama, appearing at a rally in Philadelphia, attempted to prepare his followers for an ugly campaign. Quoting Sean Connery’s character in The Untouchables, he said, “If they bring a knife, we bring a gun.”

The crowd gasped as Bob Mitchum strode across the stage. He pulled a long, cardboard tube from the recesses of his trench coat, smacked Obama across the nose with it, and emptied a rolled-up parchment from the tube, laying it out on the podium.

“Read it”, Mitchum ordered, smiling around his cigarette, and staring with hooded, merciless eyes at the Democratic presidential candidate.

Obama, pinching his nose and holding his head back, asked timorously, “What is it?”

“The Bill of Rights. Take a gander at the second amendment, the one you and your crowd have been trampling for years. Just what kind of ‘gun’ are your pals going to bring?”

Mitchum suddenly extracted a .45 cal. pistol from his shoulder holster, shot out the lights, and vanished under the cover of darkness.


stackja1945 said...

Two others for O-man
[Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee is threatened by a mugger with a switchblade]
Sue Charlton: Mick, give him your wallet.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: What for?
Sue Charlton: He's got a knife.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [chuckling] That's not a knife.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [Dundee draws a large Bowie knife]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: *That's* a knife.
[Dundee slashes the teen mugger's jacket. He and his friends run away]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Just kids having fun. You alright?
Sue Charlton: I'm always all right when I'm with you Dundee.

Harry Callahan: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

Paco said...

Stacks: Hilarious, ain't it? Look for him to squash a half-grapefruit in Cindy McCain's face, too, and maybe take a baseball bat to Joe Lieberman.

The tough talk just sounds ludicrous from a guy who's main extracurricular activity in high school was probably equipment manager for the wrestling team, or maybe sergeant-at-arms for the chess club. Maybe I'm just in denial, but I can't see this guy as President. But then, .

Paco said...

That dash in my comment is a link to Roger Kimball's blog (not sure why the next sentence didn't appear. It should read, "But neither does Roger Kimball."

Anonymous said...

Hey Paco - thanks so much for Starting a blog I am so glad to have found this and will link to it

the_real_jeffs said...

HA! The Messiah™ wouldn't use half a grapefruit; He would use a papaya fruit. Grapefruits are for commoners.

Ash said...

The idea of a soft guy like Bazza in charge scares the crap out of me. I'm in Melbourne, but even that's not a safe distance.

SwampWoman said...

Yep. He seems to be an odd combination of JFKerry and John Edwards, only not so butch, with Jimmy Carter's ideals.

Paco said...

Welcome, Anonymous (whoever you are!) Drop by any time.

Minicapt said...

"...main extracurricular activity in high school..."
Well. he was on the school basketball team; he just wasn't a starter.