I regret that it probably won’t be available in time for this year’s general election, but I certainly hope to have the Magic Wand of Disenfranchisement ready for 2012. I plan to wave it over the following groups of voters:
1) People who need Michael Moore to tell them how to vote;
2) People who, given a clear choice between candidates, are genuinely undecided 24 hours before the polls open;
3) People who believe that a laughably clueless foreign policy dumb ass can be transformed overnight into Winston Churchill through the laying on of hands by Hollywood pea-brains and mothballed generals;
4) People who are under the impression that they’re electing a Wizard of Oz instead of a U.S. president
If you can think of any other deserving demographics, let me know and I’ll make the proper adjustments.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
People who think that the '16 month withdrawal' from Iraq is a carefully crafted plan, vice a wild ass guess.
ReplyDeleteCheers
Anyone who still clings (bitterly?) to the plastic turkey meme...
ReplyDeleteAnyone who supports socialised medicine "because it's free!" (or similarly, who calls socialised healthcare "free healthcare." )
Can I also throw in, anyone who voted for John Edwards in the primaries? They really should lose their vote for that...
ReplyDelete1. People who voted for Kevin Rudd. I don't have to explain why.
ReplyDelete2. People who say that China has made significant progress in human rights based on what they've seen of the Olympics. (!)
3. People who claim that Israel has no right to exist.
4. People who claim that Muslims mean no harm to anyone. (!)
5. People who claim Israel should be given to the Palestinians.
6. 9/11 Troofers!!!
7. The entire population of San Francisco and Berkeley, California.
8. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
9. Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard.
10. Communist and Socialist dictators (even those "elected" in a democratic process).
All foreigners who presume to tell Americans how to vote
ReplyDeleteAll actors who know better than us on whom to dote
All washed up ex generals who tried to start world war 3
All Premiers who call elections during the Olympics festivity
You may put them on the list for they'll none of them be missed
(With profound and grovelling apologies to the shades of WS Gilbet and Sir Arthur Sullivan)
Splendid suggestions, one and all (and kudos to you, CAC, for the lyrics).
ReplyDeletePixies.
ReplyDeleteThese are the people who demonstrate against US energy production via coal, oil, gas, nuclear; in fact, against any proven practical method.
They think the US can be powered by Pixie Dust.
Hey, I know. I met a few of them outside the US embassy in Ottawa recently and let them have a load of vituperation. (And yes, verbal abuse was involved - "you *rseholes")
BTW I now have a modern electric camera and the next time there are Pixies, or related Elves or Dwarfs remonstrating before the Ottawa USA Embassy, I'll take some pics. These people really are pathetic.
.... as opposed to a photochemical one.
Anyone --- anyone at all, though they be overwhelmingly, albeit nominally, female --- who has the gall to join Code Pink. The Code Pink harridans deserve to be rounded up and put in a comfy home, preferably in the far north, where they can shriek, pull their hair, and twirl like senseless dervishes for the rest of their lives.
ReplyDeleteCanadian: 'll see your Pixie Dust and raise you some Unobtanium. Unobtanium (or Unobtainium, alt. spelling) is the "alternative" stuff which will provide us with clean, cheap (or free!) energy and allow us to do away with nasty dirty coal, oil and gas. It will not only not *cost* us anything, it will *make* us heaps of money. All the while having absolutely no negative impact on the environment.
ReplyDeleteThe slightly-more pseudoscientific brethren of the Pixies also believe that the only thing holding us back from a clean, green, prosperous Unobatanium-powered future is the cryptofascist neocon cabal of Big Oil & New World Order proponents who have a conspiracy going to keep Unobtanium from the public domain because they would rather go to Iraq and kill all the innocent people and steal their oil...
Spot
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately Wimpy had out-bid you by referring to "Ottawa". It's like saying "Washington, D.C.", but with meaning.
Cheers
wimpy, please don't insult the real pixies.
ReplyDelete;)
Every idiot who stops me to ask if I have a minute for the environment. However, asking them specific questions that aren't covered on their cheat sheet is fun. Their heads explode.
ReplyDelete