Hi, this is Brad Smilo of Paco World News. I borrowed the Tardis from Wronwright and took a trip back to 1929, and I’m here now with well-known Chicago-based community organizer, Al Capone.
Brad: Thank you for meeting with me today, Mr. Capone.
Capone: Don’t mention it, kid. Sorry about the pat-down, but a guy can’t be too careful these days. Ok, boys, you can take a powder. Brad’s clean.
Brad: So, you’ve had a lot of experience in organizing, right Mr. Capone?
Capone: Yeh.
Brad: Tell us what, in your opinion, community organizing is all about.
Capone: Easy. You find out what the people want, then you give it to ‘em.
Brad: But doesn’t community organizing primarily involve helping the underprivileged?
Capone: The what?
Brad: The underprivileged; you know, the homeless, people without jobs, the down-and-out?
Capone: Oh, them; the bums and hobos, you mean. Sure, sure, I take care of them, too. I even set up a soup kitchen for ‘em.
Brad: Mr. Capone, as a community organizer, do you work closely with the Democratic Party?
Capone: Hey, I work with both parties; I’m, whaddaya call it, bipaisan.
Brad: Bipartisan?
Capone: Yeh, that’s the word; bipartisan. For example, I work real close with Mayor Big Bill Thompson, an’ he’s a Republican.
Brad: That’s interesting. Usually, it seems like it’s the Democrats who are most closely associated with community organizing.
Capone: I coulda worked with ‘em last election, but they treated me like I was some kinda goombah; a community organizer has to look out for Number One, you know.
Brad: “Number One”? But I thought community organizing was about helping the little guy.
Capone: Are you kiddin’? Community organizin’ is about usin’ money – and muscle – to get people to do what you want ‘em to do. And what you want ‘em to do is to take care ‘a Number One – which is me.
Brad: That’s a very interesting insight, Mr. Capone.
Capone: Yeh, I get off a good one now an’ again.
Brad: Well, thank you again, sir, for sitting down for an interview.
Capone: No problem, kid. Say, you wanna try some ‘a this rigatoni?
Brad: Oh, no sir, thanks just the same.
Capone: Suit yourself. Listen, on your way out, send in Jack McGurn, will ya? I’m puttin’ together a little Valentine’s Day present for Bugs Moran – he’s a community organizer, too – an’ I need to talk to Jack about it.
Brad: Oh. Well, I think it’s great that you cooperate with other organizers.
Capone: Remember, Brad: it’s all about Number One.
Epilogue: Haw!
Dang. Lots of great "community organizers" have their roots in Chicago.
ReplyDeletebrilliant as usual, sir
ReplyDeletebipaisan - great bit of ameritalian
ReplyDeleteSweasel is EXCELLENT! BUAWHAHAHAHAHA!!!
ReplyDeleteGood stuff. When's the book in print??
ReplyDeleteO/T But, further non-developments in the Canadian election saga. I had intended to post further a few days later, but ...
I had scheduled the arterial sign team to meet at 8 PM chez moi to get instructions for the late night, pre-election-call day, signage. You know, grab the best spots; dispirit the enemy with your organizational kazaam! It was called off.
The Conservative Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, will meet the Governor General, at 5 minutes past 8 in the morning, tomorrow, Sunday. However, there is some uncertainty as to what will transpire from this meeting.
WARNING: Constitutional aside: The Governor General is the Queen's representative, in fact, it is highly unlikely she does much of a constitutional nature, without at least formal reference to the Queen of Canada, who also happens to be Queen of the England, Scotland, etc. defender of the faith, etc., but not of America, as I am sure Pacoistas are glad :^)
Now, when her government, and in the British Parliamnetary system, it is the Queen's government, goes to the monarch and declares it cannot govern, there are options, for monarch or Governor General. (As opposed to Governor Particular????)
In Canada's situation, she (our Governor General is a cute Haitian lady} has won some respect from the manner in which she has carried her office, and visited the troops in Afghanland. She has the option of telling the four opposition parties, that form a majority in parliament, to form a government. This is risky as it would mean the Governor General was putting the French seperatist Bloq Quebecois into power. That would be tough to argue with HRH QEII.
Alternatively, she could just say NO, carry on governing; you've done pretty well as a minority.
This latter course will only save or help or assist, whatever word you choose, the Liberal Party. And she was given the job by the Liberal Party. Actually, as I write that, the worst scandal is staring me right in the face. It would be a monumental disgrace of the constitutional government in Canada. I can't believe it would happen; but, the NRP (Natural Ruling Party) don't have that name for no reason.
...to be continued..
Wimpy: That whole governor-general stuff is pretty fascinating. But isn't Lord Pooter-Smythe supposed to drop dead from a poisoned scone or something, or am I thinking of England?
ReplyDeleteDamn it Paco, where do you get off being so inventive and funny? Not to mention being clean and articulate?
ReplyDeleteCrap, do I ever hate your guts. No offense, dickweed.
Paco, I'm guessing your ability to write so vividly about Chicago community organisers must stem from your connections with law enforcement in your boyhood days.
ReplyDeleteWimpy, HM, if you please. HRH is for lesser mortals like princes, dukes and earls.
And you should admit that you share her with us because she is the Queen of Australia, too.
The women are taking over the world! (NTTIAWWT).
Queens, Governors General and Vice Presidents all over the place.
Since 3 days ago, we also have a woman as GG, but with a name like Quentin Bryce, you may need to look at her photo, before you can imagine her as a lady.
Not to be picky, Steve, but you left out "well-dressed" and "kind to animals".
ReplyDeleteSkeeter: You're right; the ladies seem to be taking over. God love 'em!
Skeeter:
ReplyDeleteAaaggh!
Until recently we here in OZ have had a habit of installing a retired General as the Governor General. (As opposed to governor particular Wimpy :P) But KRudd had to be different.
ReplyDeleteThe last bloke was a former commander of the SASR and as such was more than warmly greeted by our troops overseas.
I had the opportunity to speak with him back when he was only the governor of WA, and me just some long haired school kid. It shames me to admit this, but what I said to him was:
"Shine your boots Govna?" (with bad cockney accent)
The look I got would freeze the flame from a blow torch...