Monday, March 9, 2009

Chris Matthews: A Human Jacuzzi of Stupid

Or a human hot tub of frothy Obama-Love (as long as we're creating baroque metaphors).

Matthews also refers to Limbaugh as a James Bond villain. Hey, fair is fair, Chris. I invite readers to speculate on Chrissie's alias as a Bond villain. My offering? Tinglepin Obamamour.

On second thought, why limit ourselves to Bond villains? How about a Dick Tracy villain? Zementkopf von Viscous-Pantz.

38 comments:

richard mcenroe said...

Matthews is a bit more Warner Brothers: a real noodlehead...

Paco said...

Richard: that is from one of my all-time favorite Warner Bros cartoons ("Duck Twacy", I think it's called).

RebeccaH said...

I offer a Dickensian villain: Tingley Legomutton.

Or perhaps a Batman villain: Mr. Wheeze.

Or something Sherlockian: Sir Gushtav von Asskisser.

Tyler said...

If we're going the Dick Tracy route, it has to be more in the vein of "Tingle-leg".

Anonymous said...

The best one I've seen was over at
Ace. Obama's Dickholster.

wind river said...

PussyTheBore!

Anonymous said...

Dr Nobrain

Boonieboy said...

How about the notorious Dr. Obamagasm......wait, I have to shake the dew of my chris and wipe my matthews.

Sarah said...

Too bad Pussy Galore is already taken, it seems to fit.

1simplething said...

Mook Sardonica would be appropriate, for either a Bond or Tracy villain, having a theatrical tone while being easily definable.

Anonymous said...

Baron Drollie von Spitinstein

Anonymous said...

Stinkfinger

GKClad said...

Inspector Clousseau (Pink Panther movies) -- without the insight

Anonymous said...

Sir Peter "Dick" Johnson III

JohnMc said...

On the Bond theme, with due respect to oddjob how about -- OddLob? For all the BS he throws out on the airwaves every night.

RogerCfromSD said...

Ranty Sickofant

or

just plain "Asshole"

Anonymous said...

How's about "Fat Bastard"?

Old Tanker said...

In the tradition of Lili Von Shtupp from Balzing Saddles

"Obama ShtuppinU"

Long time no see Paco, and Michelle Malkin linked to you...Paco Enterprises has their tentacles everywhere.....

Old Tanker said...

JohnMc

How's about "Snowjob"

Disclaimer; as former militery, my first choice was NOT "snowjob" but we'll be keeping it PG.......

Paco said...

Hey, Old tanker. How've you been? And welcome to all you Michelle Malkin readers.

In the naming contest, just plain "asshole" is looking like the favorite, but they are all appropriate.

Anonymous said...

Ersnt Stavro Blohard

Osumashi Kinyobe said...

What fat, stupid, loudmouth villains were there in Bond films? Perhaps my memory fails me. Maybe Matthews can be Henchman Number One, the one who falls in the vat of piranhas as Bond and his girl du jour escape the main villain's lair of evil.
Or something.

ClearlyNow said...

"Fartfinger" is funny, but his similarity to Goldfinger IS uncanny.

MarkJ said...

Matthews also refers to Limbaugh as a James Bond villain.

Oh, this is great. Imagine Matthews, in Rush's secret underground lair in Palm Beach, tied to on a slab with a laser beam making its way up between his legs:

Matthews: "Rushfinger, do you expect me to tell the truth?"

Rush: "No, Mr. Matthews. I expect your TV career to DIE."

Jack said...

Lefty McBrownNoser

or

Dr Fraud

or

Mr Big Vastoffoxygen

Old Tanker said...

Paco, I've been well lately.....I was looking around...where's the Tardis?

Anonymous said...

Dickey Manwhore

Anonymous said...

Octopissy.

Anonymous said...

Are you kidding? The perfect name for him would be "The Hack".

Anonymous said...

I would call him the same thing as I would call Keith Olberman, Rachel Maddow, John King, Anderson Cooper, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Michele Malkin, Anne Coulter, Lou Dobbs and Rush Limbaugh: A bunch of narcissistic, lying, full of s##t, corporate media profit mongering, self absorbed a##holes!!! And what kind of dimwits pay attention to what these "villains" have to offer and waste time on these idiots? DOUCHE BAGS!!! All are too stupid to be in a James Bond movie.

If you can't get a life, at least get a Sylvan Learning Center in your neighborhood so you don't keep embarrassing the normal folk.

Anonymous said...

Professor Swallowsbarry

Anonymous said...

Upon hearing several comments that my first dog was well-endowed, I knicknamed him "Comrade Ballsobig" (until he got snipped). Since we all know Chrissy doesn't have any, how 'bout:
Comrade Getzoffbarack

Jeff Schrembs said...

Chris Matthews is GAY and that is why he stated that he "had a tingle up his leg" about Obama.
Nothing wrong with being GAY (disclaimer: it ain't my cup of tea though) but Chris Matthews should just admit it openly and not try to hide it.
Maybe MSNBC, the most PARTISAN PUPPETS to the Liberals/Democrats/Communists EVER, should run a disclaimer under Chris Matthews in text that reads "Chris Matthews is Gay for Obama" then people would have the proper perspective to whatever Chris Matthews spews out.
So says Jeff Schrembs!

Jeff Sdhrembs said...

Matthews Bond nemisis should be:

IMA PUSSY

Anonymous said...

Taking Blowfeld and Oddjob and coming up with Blobamajob.

Anonymous said...

Miss Neely Phellatrix.

Lee said...

How about Moldfinger?

Dr. No Brainer?

Ecto Pussy?

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