Friday, March 20, 2009

A Conversation Between Two of Joe Biden’s Hair Plugs

Jarvis: Top o’ the morning to you, Jack!

Jack: Back at you, buddy! Gee, it sure feels good to be alive, doesn’t it?

Jarvis: It does, indeed. I tell you, Jack; I’ve been riding shotgun up here for quite a while, and it strikes me that these may turn out to be the best years of our lives.

Jack: How so?

Jarvis: Haven’t you noticed the spring in the boss’s step, lately? The way he’s always whistling? And there seems to be a …I dunno…a new sense of self-confidence, of poise. I’ll give you an example: he hasn’t spilled soup on himself for over a week.

Jack: Yeah, come to think of it, he does seem unusually happy. The guys all feel it, too. Everybody’s roots are strong and tight; why, nobody’s worked loose since poor Jonah came out after the debate with Palin and Joe found him on the shower floor, lying there like a drowned squirrel.

Jarvis: Exactly! And you know why?

Jack: Why?

Jarvis: Because the boss is no longer the biggest dumbass in Washington!

Jack: S-a-y, I believe you’ve got something there.

Jarvis: You bet I do! I mean – c’mon! – Geithner, Dodd, even the Preshizzle, himself. Did you see him on Leno last night?

Jack: Oh, man! Talk about a gaffe! And coming right on top of that cheap junk that he gave to the British prime minister.

Jarvis: And Geithner! How clueless can you get? If the guy were a dog, he wouldn’t be able to find his own food dish.

Jack: Don’t forget Hillary and that stupid reset button.

Jarvis: Very true, very true.

Jack: Hey…do you feel rain drops?

Jarvis: Yeah, I do. Crap! Joe left his umbrella on the train, again.

Jack: Yeah, well…but he’s not the biggest dumbass in town anymore.

Jarvis: No, no; not the biggest. I mean, he’s still, you know, up there…

Jack: Oh, yeah, there’s no denying that. But he’s no longer the biggest dumbass. That’s the important thing.

Jarvis: Right.


JeffS said...

"But he’s no longer the biggest dumbass. That’s the important thing."

As they say, happiness is relative.

Anonymous said...

Given the huge selection of screw ups, not even the newspapers have enough ink or paper to cover them all. Biden gets overlooked not only because he is no longer the biggest box of rocks in town but also because they can't afford to expand the number of pages they print, unless Supergenius gives the papers a bailout too.


Old Tanker said...

Jarvis: And Geithner! How clueless can you get? If the guy were a dog, he wouldn’t be able to find his own ........... butt to sniff......

mojo said...

I dunno, every time I see a pic of Geithner he's got that same hang-dog look. I think maybe Bambi's beatin' him at night.

Wouldn't surprise me none.

Dave C said...

I wish I can remember who said this about Biden..

talking about how when he ran for President in the 80's, he had less hair and more wrinkles.

saint said...

Thanks Paco. That's going to keep me laughing all day at work.

(Maybe you can do a conversation ebtween two bits of Kevin Rudd's ear wax)

saint D@B

Paco said...

Dave C: It's the Fountain of Youth!

Saint: Good to hear from you!