Toxic Assets Are Bad Enough…

…but it’s the toxic assholes that are going to do us in. From execrable hypocrites like Chris Dodd and Barney Frank, to hapless class-skippers like Tim Geithner who has showed up unprepared for the big Final Exam, to the top waterdog himself, whose vision of his own presidency seems never to have gone much beyond fantasizing about photo layouts in People magazine – this bizarre collection of ideological idiots, parlor socialists, kleptocratic pinheads, and garden-variety morons may accomplish what our foreign foes have never come close to being able to do: turning the U.S. into a third-rate power and an economic basket case. Seriously, Obama may, indeed, wind up accomplishing a miracle; he’s coming dangerously close to making Jimmy Carter look good by comparison – hell, he’s coming dangerously close to making Jimmy Carter look competent by comparison.

Forget People magazine, Preshizzle. If you're not careful, you’re going to make the cover of this august publication: