"There are countless horrible things happening all over the world and horrible people prospering, but we must never allow them to disturb our equanimity or deflect us from our sacred duty to sabotage and annoy them whenever possible." -Auberon Waugh
I, for one, believe reparations are necessary. And who is it who's always accused of being Neanderthals? Right-wingers. And who are we? Right-wingers/Neanderthals. So who gets the reparation gravy? We do!
Sort of related thing I just came across regarding the cause of extinction of woolly mammoths:
"The new dates of the mammoths' last appearance correlate very closely in time to climate changes when the open grassy habitat of the Ice Age was taken over by advancing forests, which provides a likely explanation for their disappearance,"
I for one suspect an elaborate smokescreen to conceal the role of the Prehistoric Apelike-creatures Consumption Organisation. The evidence seems pretty clear to me: tens of thousands of years of peaceful coexistence and then gone in the twinkling of an eye. I can see a proto Paco climbing an ice bound ridge, spotting a few hairy, grunting creates and musing "Ug, I think there might be some money to be made here".
Forgive me if I take anything published in the Guardian with a 40 lb bag of salt. They are not the most human-friendly Sonsuvbucks, after all.
I imagine Neanderthals were tasty in times of starvation. As were earthworms, grubs, four-footed unfortunates, and other Cro Magnons. But did our ancestors eat all of them? Ah, the hubris of man.
John Hawks speculates that Neanderthals might have disappeared through miscegenation with our slightly more advanced, stronger-gened species. It's a theory, not a statement of fact. There's also a theory that the Neanderthals succumbed to a disease introduced by Cro Magnon, to which they had no immunity. Ya makes yer pick, ya takes yer chances.
"We ate them." Something else we're supposed to feel guilty about, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteWhat would PETA say?
Retread
I, for one, believe reparations are necessary. And who is it who's always accused of being Neanderthals? Right-wingers. And who are we? Right-wingers/Neanderthals. So who gets the reparation gravy? We do!
ReplyDeleteSort of related thing I just came across regarding the cause of extinction of woolly mammoths:
ReplyDelete"The new dates of the mammoths' last appearance correlate very closely in time to climate changes when the open grassy habitat of the Ice Age was taken over by advancing forests, which provides a likely explanation for their disappearance,"
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-06/w-nds061509.php
Those EVIL advancing forests killed the poor gentle mammoths!!
Bruce: Killer trees!! I just knew that had to be the reason.
ReplyDeleteI for one suspect an elaborate smokescreen to conceal the role of the Prehistoric Apelike-creatures Consumption Organisation. The evidence seems pretty clear to me: tens of thousands of years of peaceful coexistence and then gone in the twinkling of an eye. I can see a proto Paco climbing an ice bound ridge, spotting a few hairy, grunting creates and musing "Ug, I think there might be some money to be made here".
ReplyDeleteor indeed "creatures" rather than "creates" although it strikes me as not a bad nelogism.
ReplyDeletecac: Not much has changed in the Paco tribe over the eons! I bet ol' proto-Paco wore a double-breasted saber-tooth tiger skin, too.
ReplyDeleteHaaaay!!!
ReplyDeleteYou just scared TrogloPundit away from our next family barbecue! Now we have to buy farts & burps producing hamburger again.
Thanks a lot, Paco!
Mmmmmm... maybe Paco would join and bring a dish to pass. ProtoPaco burgers...
Paco say he think Steve try an' pull fast one. Paco say he stay home and eat cave-cooked meal. By-an-by, Burris family go back to beef.
ReplyDeleteKiller trees? Oscar is not going to like that.
ReplyDeleteRetread
"JENKINS! No! Put that down!"
ReplyDeletePaco, I humbly suggest we get Wronwright into the Tardis directly, with instructions to bring back some delicious Neanderthals for the next VRWC BBQ.
ReplyDeleteMarkL
Minionmeister to the VRWC
Forgive me if I take anything published in the Guardian with a 40 lb bag of salt. They are not the most human-friendly Sonsuvbucks, after all.
ReplyDeleteI imagine Neanderthals were tasty in times of starvation. As were earthworms, grubs, four-footed unfortunates, and other Cro Magnons. But did our ancestors eat all of them? Ah, the hubris of man.
John Hawks speculates that Neanderthals might have disappeared through miscegenation with our slightly more advanced, stronger-gened species. It's a theory, not a statement of fact. There's also a theory that the Neanderthals succumbed to a disease introduced by Cro Magnon, to which they had no immunity. Ya makes yer pick, ya takes yer chances.
Incidentally, MarkL, the BBQ suggestion is aces.
ReplyDeleteOld stone age cannibalism was often religious in nature.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'...
Heh, I'll bet that the Neanderthal's were the equivalent of today's Chilean sea bass!
ReplyDelete