Jimmy Bise at The Sundries Shack proves as impermeable to cricket-understanding as I am (H/T: The Other McCain).
Update: Cousin Pedro in the comments sums up the essence of the game: "All you need about playing cricket is contained in the phrase: 'look at the scoreboard you Pommie bastard', preferably waving your right arm in a horizontal arc with the index finger pointed in the general direction of the players exit gate. Having said all that, I remind you that cricket is a gentleman's game, epitomised by the phrase, 'That's not really cricket, old chap' as you wrench the Zulu assegai from your internal organs."
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Cricket ignoramus?
ReplyDeleteI hope you can bathe in the warm glow of knowing that anyone who understands cricket is called a cricket tragic.
So, that makes me a cricket...comic?
ReplyDeletePaco, it's true. When I was a younger version I took a train trip from Barcelona to Pau in southern France and sat next to a tall Texan with the most amazing accent.
ReplyDeleteHe asked me to explain cricket to him. I had no idea it would be as difficult as it was. All I can recommend is you go (if you're ever interested) to a game and sit next to an Antipodean and get the rules explained to you as it happens. I promise you'll enjoy the experience.
That all made sense to me. I don't know what you're on about Paco. In short, Australia is handing England their arse on a platter. It will take the English weather to save them. (If rain stops play it may end up as a draw. That is the best they can hope for.)
ReplyDeleteWhile I was overseas Australia played a number of test and one-day matches against South Africa. It was great fun discussing the tests in particular in front of other nationalities unfamiliar with Cricket. What made it even more fun was that English was a second language.
ReplyDeleteWe used to do it to the Germans a lot. They would start conversations amongst themselves in German in front of us, so we would start talking about the cricket to remind them of their manners.
It's like baseball, except there's two guys running between wickets instead of running around bases, and you have to get the whole team out, not just three...and it's as slow as baseball. Seriously. We've done time motion studies.
ReplyDeleteRichard: Oh, I got the part about England losing. It's just that the process looks kind of like this to me:
ReplyDeleteEngland vs. Australia
????
Australia wins!
Sharpie's comment reminded me that I am fluent in German.
ReplyDeleteI learned it all from war comics; "Adventure Library","Commando" etc.
Pithy phrases, like; "Zum Teufel, der goddammt Englanders", "Achtung der Schpitfueuer", "Verdamnt Battler Briitain", usually said as machine gun bullets spatterd the ground around the speaker.
And, all you need about playing cricket is contained in the phrase: "look at the scoreboard you Pommie bastard", preferably waving your right arm in a horizontal arc with the index finger pointed in the general direction of the players exit gate.
Having said all that, I remind you that cricket is a gentleman's game, epitomised by the phrase, "That's not really cricket, old chap" as you wrench the Zulu assegai from your internal organs.
Great to see some of the old Blairistas back. I really, really miss Blairistan!
ReplyDeleteIf you want to bring more back you might start a thread on the virtues of Collingwood footy!:)
Pacosan:Just to make you feel homesick. It was 104 at noon today:(
Yojimbo: Ahh! 104. But (as they say) it's a dry heat.
ReplyDeleteArizona still remains the likeliest retirement spot for Mrs. Paco and me. Unless we wind up selling our house eventually and buying one of those ginormous RV's; then we can live all over.
When asked to explain the game, I ask the enquirer if they want the 5 minute version or the one hour version.
ReplyDeleteHey, England didn't lose.
You can follow most international cricket games on cricinfo.org
See? I even got that wrong. A completely inscrutable game.
ReplyDelete...start a thread on the virtues of Collingwood footy!:)
ReplyDeleteCould be a short thread:)
Pedro: After dinner one evening, the germans started a side conversation in their native tongue. Present were Australians and Norwegians who had no idea what they were talking about. Fortunately,I hade been playing around with Google translator, and interjected right in the middle of their conversation with; "Ja, ich denke, wir sollten dringen in Polen nächsten!"
ReplyDeleteThey stopped doing it after that.
...start a thread on the virtues of Collingwood footy!:)
ReplyDeleteThat has all the appeal and shelf life of:
"Five reasons why I find Hillary Clinton sexy"
Bleagh.