I failed to mention this previously, but shortly before Christmas last year, I was poking around in an antique shop down in Richmond and I found an old brass oil lamp. It was kind of a cornball knockoff of Aladdin's lamp, but a fairly interesting gew-gaw that I figured might be worth a few laughs, so I bought it. Imagine my surprise when I started rubbing it down with some brass polish, and an oriental gentleman, decked out in turban, M.C. Hammer pants and curly-toed slippers appeared in a puff of smoke. He offered to grant me three wishes.
"Dude! You don't expect me to believe this, do you? I mean, this is strictly fairy-tale stuff."
He shrugged, and said, "It is not for me to presume to instruct the master of the lamp in what he should believe or not believe. My only duty - and I'll be more than happy to show you the official job description - is to grant you three wishes."
I decided to humor the old boy, so I mentioned, in an off-hand sort of way, how nice it would be to have a million-taxpayer march on Washington. The genie stroked his beard thoughtfully, and begged for a little time to fulfill this unprecedented wish. And, today, it looks like he came through.
I had also expressed an ardent desire for the return to private life of race-huckster and would-be revolutionary, Van Jones. The genie carried out that wish in fairly short order.
My question to my readers is this: what should my third and final wish be?