Friday, September 4, 2009

WWJD?



MSNBC talking salt lick head, Ed Schultz, thinks that Jesus would have voted for ObamaCare.

No, Ed, Jesus actually healed the sick himself. And he exhorted people – as individuals - to be charitable toward the sick and otherwise disadvantaged. Let’s take a look inside Ed’s Bible and see where he got that idea…
As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. Immediately, there were gasps and cries of dismay as all the people in the crowd suddenly felt their purses significantly lightened. An angry merchant shouted, “What is this? Half the shekels in my money-belt are gone!”

Jesus responded, “Calm yourselves. I have diverted the money to the account of the Imperial Health Clinic, so that this poor woman might avail herself of its services.” He then turned to the woman and said, “Go in peace. The clinic should have an opening for you in six months or so.”

The woman, overcome by joy and gratitude, cried, “Thank you, Master! You have brought happiness to this old heart of mine.”

But on hearing this, Jesus said, “Hold a moment. How old are you, daughter?”

And the woman replied, “I am sixty-five years old.”

Jesus said, “I am sorry for you, then. The Imperial Clinic only treats people for serious afflictions up to the age of forty-five.”

The crowd of people complained loudly. The merchant who had spoken before said, “How is it that our money was taken from us for the sake of providing care for this woman at the Imperial Clinic, and now that she cannot be treated there because she has passed the appropriate age, our purses have not regained their heft?”

Jesus responded, “What has been rendered unto Caesar stays with Caesar.”

Hmmm. I think the gospel Ed was reading must have been apocryphal. He’d better get a standard edition.

4 comments:

richard mcenroe said...

I can't quote chapter and verse off the top of my head, but weren't there stories in the New Testament where Jesus refused miracles or cures to someone who only wanted a free ride?

kc said...

Oh, anyone who finds that in Scripture, PLEASE post relevant verse numbers.

I also - though not a religious woman by any stretch of anyone's imagination - don't recall that charity and service to the poor are to be REQUIRED BY GOVERNMENT.

richard mcenroe said...

I've located the following:

Matthew 12: 38-39, Matthew 16: 1-4, Mark 8: 11-12, Mark 6: 1-6

In most of these, Jesus' refusal seems to be based on the unbelief of the petitioners.

I seem to remember one story where a man witnesses a healing and then demands one as a cash transaction, but I'm still trying to locate it.

richard mcenroe said...

The only time Jesus refused healing was the Canaanite woman in Matthew, but He relented.

He did however refuse to perform other miracles on demand.