WWJD?

MSNBC talking salt lick head, Ed Schultz, thinks that Jesus would have voted for ObamaCare.

No, Ed, Jesus actually healed the sick himself. And he exhorted people – as individuals - to be charitable toward the sick and otherwise disadvantaged. Let’s take a look inside Ed’s Bible and see where he got that idea…

As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. Immediately, there were gasps and cries of dismay as all the people in the crowd suddenly felt their purses significantly lightened. An angry merchant shouted, “What is this? Half the shekels in my money-belt are gone!”

Jesus responded, “Calm yourselves. I have diverted the money to the account of the Imperial Health Clinic, so that this poor woman might avail herself of its services.” He then turned to the woman and said, “Go in peace. The clinic should have an opening for you in six months or so.”

The woman, overcome by joy and gratitude, cried, “Thank you, Master! You have brought happiness to this old heart of mine.”

But on hearing this, Jesus said, “Hold a moment. How old are you, daughter?”

And the woman replied, “I am sixty-five years old.”

Jesus said, “I am sorry for you, then. The Imperial Clinic only treats people for serious afflictions up to the age of forty-five.”

The crowd of people complained loudly. The merchant who had spoken before said, “How is it that our money was taken from us for the sake of providing care for this woman at the Imperial Clinic, and now that she cannot be treated there because she has passed the appropriate age, our purses have not regained their heft?”

Jesus responded, “What has been rendered unto Caesar stays with Caesar.”

Hmmm. I think the gospel Ed was reading must have been apocryphal. He’d better get a standard edition.