Looks like Barry struck out on his bid to snag the Olympic games for Chicago. Maybe he can kill some time by giving General McChrystal another 25 minutes to talk about Afghanistan.
I understand that the International Olympic Committee threw a bone to the U.S. by agreeing to create some new Chicago-themed events:
1) The "Pol" vault: contestants will attempt to pole vault over a stack of FBI wiretap transcripts of Rod Blagojevich's telephone conversations.
2) The lobbyist relay race: athletes will run around a track carrying suitcases full of cash which they will hand off to their partners.
3) Steel-cage gangsta death match: self-explanatory.
Update: This really is a shame, especially since Chicago had already paid to have a special Olympics logo designed.
Image cheerfully pinched from Theo Spark
Update II: Carol in the comments section has dreamed up some more new Olympic events:
Liecrosse: Who can catch the most lies in Obama's speeches?
Field Hockey: How many CIA agents can be tanked in the field?
Gymnasties: Who can insult more people than Nancy Pelosi?
Fencing: Can we all get epee-epeed up?
Diving: You're all wet, Obama!
Water Polo: Let's kick Poland's ass around the pool!
Triathlon: Lose the Olympics, Cap and Trade, and Healthcare. BUSTED!
And check out her blog! Some good stuff, there.