Wicked Leaks

Strategies for dealing with Julian Assange range all over the map, from declaring his outfit to be a terrorist organization to...sending him a strongly-worded letter.

Personally, I prefer Jeff Goldstein's not entirely subtle suggestion.

Incidentally, Paco World News Daily (PWND) has obtained several secret communiques that are scheduled for future release by Wikileaks. Might as well beat the New York Times to the punch, so here's a brief inventory of coming attractions:

- Cable from President Obama to Fidel Castro through the Cuban Interest Section of the Swiss Embassy in Washington asking for an autographed picture of Castro in his basketball uniform from high school days (plus a lock of beard hair).

- Secure fax from Joe Biden to the Indian ambassador complaining about a leaky Big Gulp soda he purchased at a 7-11 in Wilmington, Delaware.

- Copy of a wire transfer in the amount of $10,000 drawn on the U.S. Treasury’s administrative account payable to a Mrs. Wanda Obango of Lagos, Nigeria for the purpose of securing a one-quarter interest in a $10 million bequest from Mrs. Obango’s late father, the former Finance Minister of Nigeria (wire transfer authorized by “T. Geithner”).

- Copy of an invitation from Vladimir Putin to Sarah Palin to go bear hunting with crossbows (cross-indexed with an invitation of even date to President Obama to attend the Russian Interpretive Dance Festival in the company of Mrs. Putin).

- Copy of application to North Korea for citizenship (“non-resident status”) from William Ayers and Bernadine Dorn.

- Cable from President Obama to Prime Minister Netanyahu: “We insist that Israel cease new residential construction in Jerusalem”. Return cable: “Get shtupped!”