Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Obama/Paco debates (continued)

The president and the first lady are dining in a luxuriously-appointed, very exclusive Chinese restaurant

Obama [pushing his chair back and undoing the buttons on his suit jacket]: Ahhhhh! That was excellent!

Michelle[reaching over to pat his hand]: I’m so glad you liked it, Barack! And it was good to get away from the White House for a relaxing, intimate dinner. You know, just the six of us: you, me, and the four Secret service guys.

Obama: You said it! I needed a break. That Paco guy is driving me crazy. He keeps popping up out of nowhere, trying to carry on a debate. I don’t have to talk to Republicans at all, particularly unknown ones.

Michelle: Calm down, baby. You’re absolutely right. Yes?

Waiter: I crave your pardon for intruding, madam, but our esteemed proprietor especially wanted you to try our fortune cookies.

Michelle: Oh, that‘ll be fun! Here, honey, take one.

Obama: Ok. [Opens up fortune cookie and unrolls the long, thin paper contained therein. His smile is suddenly replaced by a look of horror]

Michelle: Barack! What’s the matter? You look ashen.

Obama: Listen to this! “What’s more important, Mr. President: insulting Paul Ryan or getting serious about the budget?” Open yours up. What does it say?

Michelle: It says, “All we need is for your husband to get attacked by a killer rabbit and the analogy is complete.”

Obama: Waiter! Where did you get these fortune cookies?

Waiter: Oh, we buy only from the best Asian food supply house in the eastern United States, Mr. President: the Pleasant Abode of Culinary Opulence.

Obama: Hmmm. Well, there’s something decidedly fishy going on, though I can’t quite put my finger on it. Come on, Michelle. Let’s get out of here.

Waiter [bowing]: Good evening, Mr. President, Mrs. Obama. There will always be a table waiting for you here at Pok-Ho’s Restaurant!

Obama[stomping out, with Michelle and his squad of Secret Service agents]: Michelle, how did you hear about this place?

Michelle: Why, Gus suggested it. You know what a gourmand he is. He knows all the best places to eat.

Obama: Gus? My manservant? How can he afford to dine out in expensive restaurants? I’ll have to have a chat with him.

Michelle: Well, it’ll have to wait until tomorrow. Don’t you remember? He has the night off.

A half hour later, a tall, distinguished man of African descent walks into Pok-Ho’s Restaurant. He is dressed impeccably in a gray, pinstriped suit, double-breasted black cashmere overcoat and dove-gray Homburg hat. A smiling hostess takes his hat, gloves and walking stick, and he is instantly recognized by the maître d’.

Maître d’: Ah, it is a pleasure to see you again, Mr. D’Orleans! Your usual table?

Gus: But of course, Monsieur Chang! And you will not be forgetting ze fortune cookies?

Maître d’: The very special ones containing the crisp new… prognostications… straight from the U.S. mint? No, sir, I will not forget. Our gracious proprietor made his wishes known with complete clarity on that point.

6 comments:

JeffS said...

BUAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Steve Burri said...

I ate a Pok-Ho's once and as soon as I walked out the door I got hungry and pigged out at the McDonald's across the street. Saw Bill Clinton in there.

smitty1e said...

The only thing missing is a werewolf with perfect hair sipping a pina colada in the corner.

Merilyn said...

Very good Paco!
Äshen faced?" Love it.

Isophorone said...

Obama's fortune will crumble with his cookie.

RebeccaH said...

Loved it!

(I had one of those Pleasant Abode of Culinary Opulence fortune cookies and they do taste slightly of fish - but mine only contained the previous month's lottery numbers)