“The proper study of mankind”, said the poet Alexander Pope, “is man”. I agree, and I think this includes even the small change of man’s life, to wit, the drapery in which he ensconces himself during his forays into the work-a-day world.
I cannot help but observe the sartorial felonies and misdemeanors that are committed by male subway riders each and every day. This is troubling. Not only because it tends to distract me from the far more pleasurable occupation of observing the many pulchritudinous female specimens who travel by Metro into Washington every morning (and back to Virginia in the evening), but because of what it says about the continuing decline of good taste and of that healthy level of esteem and respect that my fellows ought to show for the outer man. Herewith, a few criticisms and suggestions:
1) Sir, that is a handsome dark gray suit you are wearing. I admire the cut and the fabric. Are you perhaps unaware that you are wearing brown shoes with it?
2) I saw a gentleman yesterday, descending the steps of the parking garage at the Vienna Metro. He was wearing a beautiful slate-blue suit with pinstripes (and black shoes). How unfortunate that he chose to top the costume off with an old, crumpled, olive-colored fishing cap.
3) If you’re wearing a suit, the proper baggage for transporting documents is a briefcase. Why would you want to wear a backpack? It rumples up the back of your suit jacket, and the straps crush the shoulder-padding, eventually creating a permanent rut across each shoulder. And you’re not hiking to D.C.; you’re riding the subway. Well, I don’t want to be too critical; a little positive reinforcement can go a long way. So, thank you for at least not wearing your Smoky the Bear hat.
4) Ah, a thigh-length trench coat! That sort of thing looked good on Nancy Sinatra 40 years ago; however, sir, permit me to make an observation: you are not Nancy Sinatra, and it is not 40 years ago.
5) Now, that, my friend, is a fine looking navy-blue suit! But, er, whatever possessed you to wear a necktie of Phosphate-Mine-Retention-Pond-Green?
6) Let’s see…that’s certainly a decent enough gray suit, and the maroon tie complements it well. But what’s with the Australian drover’s coat and outback hat? The whole effect is a tad heterogeneous, wouldn’t you say? I mean, perhaps if you’re attending a cattle auction or something similar it would be appropriate. By the way, is there one being held in Washington today?
7) Ha ha ha ! No, really, sir, be serious. Why are you wearing clip-on suspenders and a belt? For that matter, why are you wearing clip-on suspenders, at all?
8) You know, I think I once saw a photograph of Woodrow Wilson wearing a single-breasted suit jacket with four buttons, just like the one you’re wearing now.
9) As a fan of hats, far be it from me to condemn another’s choice of headgear. But don’t you think the combination of suit and newsboy cap is more in line with, say, a racketeer’s personal driver in the prohibition era?
Update: Gregory, in the comments, has some interesting views on the subject.
12 comments:
What a man wears, and how he wears it, says a lot about him. So, it's probably a good thing to have some "truth in advertising".
Perhaps Spurgeon could be dispatched to the subways, to lurk in dark corners and, um, correct some of the more egregious sartorial errors?...
10. Sir, a pinstripe suit with a striped shirt and regimental striped tie is, shall we say, one stripe too many. Here's an idea, stripe-solid-stripe. Or, solid-stripe-solid. Just might work.
Dave: That's from the advanced course.
This is why I prefer polo shirts and slacks, with (sort of) coordinated colors, and black shoes. Jeans and tennis shoes may be substituted as necessary, with a variation of work boots for field time.
Good taste is not assumed with the casual geek look. I find this satisfactory for my duties.
And the style does go well with Australian drover coats, slouch hats, and Civil War era kepis. Plus a backpack.
You words gladden my heart, Dear Sir, and I tip my fedora in your direction.
I must also add that, while I would be most honored to be a member of that esteemed race, it does continually amaze me that when I wear my lovely grey Borsalino Como many people address me as "rabbi"...
Menswear has certainly become the issue de jour. I have a few comments to make on the subject myself.
(Caution: scary photo)
Ah, Bingley, old top! I had a similar experience one time. Fellow came right out and asked if I was Jewish.
15 months ago, after a severe breakout of excema (skin problems are me) my dermatologist INSISTED I wear hats.
Given the strict ored, I decided that if I have to wear a hat, then I might as well make it a Fashion Statement.
I have become very observant of hat styles, and love hats. I also notice that very few people in the West wear hats, and are surprisd by them. I get looks of astonishment when I walk into someplace with my hat on my head.
I might be able to get layed for free with one of my hats.
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http://coldsteel.com/Product/91STA/CITY_STICK%2c_ALUMINUM_HEAD.aspx
Cheers
-While I never wear a double-breasted jacket [I can't pull it off], I do like them, except when the wearer is going for that Union Boss Look [medium blue jacket and pants (or, Heaven forbid, light colored pants), wide-striped tie]. Come on, Hoffa and Meany are dead, people.
-I always wear dark three-piece suits with white shirts, black tie, and a black fedora [and a black cashmere overcoat in the cold season]. I have a beard along with Italian features, but pale skin, as well, so the Rabbi comments are quite frequent. I bless them and move on.
-Have you noticed the very thin lapel look is making a comeback? I'm not sure if I'm pleased about this.
-I'd love to wear a Homburg on more formal occasions, but the gangsta rappers have ruined that.
I, too, look with concern on any potential thinning of lapels.
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