Thursday, February 14, 2013

I don’t know much about art…

…but I know what stinks. “Defecation and death at Australian art museum”.
At 2pm every day a fresh faecal masterpiece is conceived by Wim Delvoye's Cloaca Professional, a complex array of transparent urns fed and functioning as a digestive tract -- "a work of art that produces a work of art".

The smell is overpowering as it is fed its meal of a sandwich and salad from the museum cafe, an in-sink garbage disposal unit functioning as its mouth and the turbid swirl of acids, enzymes and browning sludge laid bare.
Ah, yes. The line of artistic genius runs in a straight line through, say, the Birth of Venus, Mona Lisa, Rue Montorgueil, the Portrait of Daniel-Henry Kahnweiler, right on down to to jars of synthetic s**t. Ain’t civilization grand?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

So, David Walsh is a professional gambler? I'd say this is an elaborate bluff. Ka-ching!

missred said...

good grief. we live in desperate times indeed.

bruce said...

"Hey, Mona, hey hey hey hey, Mona,
I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna build my house next door to you,..."

Ain't no Bo Diddley!

bruce said...

Seriously, I'd like to see Sidney Nolan's 'Snake', which Walsh has set up there. And he has done Australian art a favour by putting it up - the early Aust modernists like Sidney Nolan and Arthur Boyd were really talented. But apparently, jaded rich boy, Walsh wants to lure us in with quality like Nolan, then shock us with postmodern crap like this.

http://www.themercury.com.au/article/2011/01/01/197505_mona-foma.html

rinardman said...

The line of artistic genius this is on, took a detour at the Piss Christ and never looked back.

I think "artists" like this goofball are just lazy. If you ever see Michelangelo's David in person, you'll see what real artistic effort looks like. It's not a bunch of sh!tty pipes.

cac said...

Ive been to Mona and it is quite extraordinary with a superb if eclectic collection. And I was so impressed that despite my instinctive hatred of all modern "art" (the happiest day of my life after marriage and the birth of my children was when I heard that Tracy Emin's collected works had largely perished in a fire) I could even appreciate Cloaca. It does smell though.

If you ever find yourself on an Australian tour Paco to meet your legions of fans or to take up your well deserved and overdue gig as Ambassador, Hobart in general and Mona in particular are both well worth a visit.

mojo said...

Synthetic shit?

What, there wasn't enough of the real thing around?

bruce said...

If they had just painted an Aussie Dunny, instead of recreating...whatever. We think Dunnies are funny. And I get all sentimental over WWII outhouses, with redbacks and newspaper for wiping, I grew up in one!

I'm expecting Deadman Turner to say something too, Cac. He's a Taswegian.

bruce said...

Orstrahlia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:BrisbaneSuburbanOuthouses1950.jpg