I have returned from three days trying to deal with some nettlesome family business in Richmond, and I see that everything has come unglued. As everyone knows, the federal government, or a large part of it at any rate, has shut down, and a new word - Barrycades - has been coined, to describe the obstacles that federal park employees have installed in an attempt (thus far, from most accounts I've read, hilariously unsuccessful) to prevent WWII veterans from congregating at their memorial. By the by, as a government employee, I made sure to guarantee myself an indefinite unpaid vacation by having the words "Non-Essential Employee" tattooed on my forehead, so there would be no mistake about it (it's true, as JeffS has pointed out, that the correct terminology is now "excepted" and "non-excepted", but the tattoo is so lovely - the text is inscribed within a drawing of a sagging hammock that enfolds a portly bureaucrat, snoozing in the mottled shade of a mimosa tree - that I didn't have the heart to change it).
I read that conservatives are now "jihadists". Well, then, how prescient of me to have added another rifle to my collection for the Holy War. I purchased a Ruger Mini-14 (came with two 20-round magazines) at Green Top, an outdoor sporting goods store that has the largest and most diverse on-site inventory of firearms of anyplace I've ever seen. I drooled over a Mossberg 930 SPX semi-auto shotgun, with its generous 7-round tubular magazine capacity, and sighed with longing over a new Colt 1911-style pistol chambered in .38 Super. There were dozens of AR-15s and AK-47s stacked in circular racks, and scores of interesting used rifles from around the world. And the background check only took an hour (most places I go usually require a second trip back to the store, next day).
Perhaps I'll spend an idle hour or two testing the new ObamaCare exchanges (404 is my lucky number!)
Update: ObamaCare definitely seems to be suffering from a messaging problem (priceless).
Update II: Particularly glad not to be in DC today.
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That sounds like a FINE tatto, Paco! I'm thinking of getting a tatto of the back of Obama's head on the right cheek of my butt.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's a FINE purchase you made there!
Your wisdom is proven by ensuring your "non-essential" label. I have organized my own career around the idea that I should never be responsible for anything that must be fixed today. :)
ReplyDeleteJeff: It's a sweet rifle. I went with the wooden stock, as opposed to the polymer - just feels more solid. I was astonished to see that the store had just about every variety of Mini-14 made by Ruger (it also had a Mini-30, the 7.62 caliber version).
ReplyDeleteInteresting that Green Top has not only been able to acquire these rifles, but to actually keep some in stock, because these things have proved to be very difficult to come by, given the continuing series of gun-control scares over the last couple of years.
LaS: One funny thing is that, although approximately 17 people at our agency have been designated as essential, the chairman isn't one of them (although it's a bit of a redundancy to formally designate him as non-essential; most of us informally tagged him with that description the day he started).
ReplyDeleteMountain Lion!
ReplyDeleteDante's Inferno - a mountain lion's appearance presages the actual Gates of Hell. (A 'she-leopard' in some texts). Then a she-wolf, followed by the poet Virgil who will be our guide. There is something of the Medici in the Obama regime's nepotistic/prima donna style.
Are you sure it was a she-leopard or mountain lion? I thought it was a Pekingese dog. No, wait, I'm confusing Dante with Wodehouse (perfectly natural mistake).
ReplyDeleteI think you should hide your newest weapon, Mr. Paco sir. It will undoubtedly be stolen if you don't.
ReplyDeleteAs for the crazy woman in DC, there are some intriguing questions I'd like answered: was she white/black/other? Was she a disapointed Julia? If there a father, or does anybody have a clue?
It's good that you have Paco Enterpizes as a sideline. The American people might start asking "If these people are non-essential, then let's get rid of them".
ReplyDeleteAs for that tattoo, showing a bureaucrat snoozing in a hammock, why didn't you have the tattooist inscribe a picture of what he does when he's not working?
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe that Paco is actually in a nonessential position. That must be some kind of intel cover. Do you work for the Bureau of Weights and Measures Field Operations Division?
Michael: I worked hard for that designation!
ReplyDeleteMiriam Carey, the woman shot in DC:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.news.com.au/world-news/who-was-miriam-carey-why-did-she-do-this/story-fndir2ev-1226732973745
Couldn't they have just shot out her tires?
Not 'Why did she do this' (what?), but Why did they do that?
ReplyDeleteDeborah .... Glad you're back, Paco. Sorry to hear that the family is being...well..like a family. As for your hard earned designation...good cover.
ReplyDeleteOT Military chapels have been deemed non-essential, so the are closed. Catholic chaplains are forbidden, under penalty of arrest , to conduct services. No word on Imams.
Paco,
ReplyDeleteWorked hard for it? Aha, I KNEW it was cover!
As for coming back and finding everything unglued, at least we didn't party at your place leaving it a wreck, like we did at Tim's that time he imprudently left home with the key tucked under the mat. Of course, if we knew that you had some Sumerian Mead...