Slow Joe Says No Go

Joe Biden, concerned that he has insufficient time to put together a successful presidential campaign - and, no doubt, fearful of getting knee-capped by Ma Clinton and her mob - has decided to retain his hat for the purpose of winterizing his hair plugs instead of tossing it into the ring.

Whittier was surely right: "For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'". What a contest we will miss! On Biden's side, the endless series of gaffes; specially trained minions armed with crowbars and grappling hooks, standing by day and night, instantly ready to remove foot from mouth; the unseemly pawing of females from 8 to 80.

And in the Cankles Camp: Imagine one or two decades down the road, when one of the late Hillary Clinton's last remaining old flunkies - secure in the knowledge that he (or she, as the case may be) is safely beyond the reach of the defunct harridan's devouring vindictiveness - writes a tell-all book describing the scene where Hillary learns of Biden's shocking act of lèse-majesté. What a tale we would have heard of screaming, lamp-tossing, scratching and biting; the deployment of the extra-large butterfly net; the copious amounts of scotch required for pacification. Such entertainment would have been well worth the wait.

Ah, well. There's still Clinton vs. Trump. That should be fun. And of course we have the present spectacle of the GOP frogs clamoring for Paul Ryan to be their stork king.